The Tirok Maneuver

VIII

Spock straightened his meditation robes just as his doorbell rang.

Behind the door was the young Lieutenant, who he had invited earlier that day, also draped in meditation robes.

For a moment, Spock was caught off guard. He had only seen Mac'hla in traditional vulcan clothing once or twice, but at this moment, she looked completely and utterly vulcan.

Though the situation was sorrowful, she held a stoic face. Her hands were gently folded behind her back and her makeup had been wiped away. Her black hair spilled over her shoulders in wayward curls.

When had they grown up?

Spock thought about when Mac'hla had first come onto the ship. Barely eighteen, carrying a cold and empty stare and a posture suggesting tense anxiety. Her hair had been barely at her shoulders, and she had been much heavier.

Now they looked like a grown Vulcan. Almost 21, with long black curls reaching their shoulder blades and a face that was sharper, looking less like a child's. Thinner now, showing more muscle than before, though still maintaining the full figure that was so rare on Vulcan.

Even her presentation had changed. There was no more tension in their shoulders as they forced themselves to stand straight. No more clenched jaw, no unblinking eyes.

Her posture, though perfect, was now relaxed and confident. Her eyes were glimmering and full of warmth.

"Mr. Spock?" she asked, "Are you alright?"

"Hm?" he asked, shaken from his thoughts, "Yes. Yes, I am. Come in."

Mac'hla slowly walked in and Spock noticed their bare feet. He smiled faintly to himself.

She looked around in wonder at his quarters, beautifully lit with meditation candles.

Spock sat himself down in front of a small table where incense burned. He gestured for Mac'hla to sit across from him, and they practically glided over and across from him.

Spock knew Mac'hla well enough to know that she was feigning peacefulness. She would always pay close attention to how she behaved when she was pretending to be calm. 

"I wished to meditate with you." Spock said quietly, "I have found I meditate best when I am in the presence of another Vulcan."

"Agreed." Mac'hla said quietly.

The two stared at each other in silence until they both attempted to speak at the same time.

"Please, you first, sir." Mac'hla urged.

"I value what you have to say, Mac'hla," Spock said, "Please, continue."

Mac'hla took a deep breath and pushed a lock of black hair out of their face, "Sir... forgive me if this is too personal or if I am overstepping. I know this may be a big request...."

Spock tilted his head, "Query: What is it that you wish to ask?"

Mac'hla looked up at him, recognizing that he understood the gravity of this situation and was treating it as a formal conversation, "Response: Sir, you are going to... you will be leaving us tomorrow. I do not wish to lose you. I was considering, if you would be open to it, a katra ark."

Spock blinked, "Response: Mac'hla, I will not burden you with the weight of carrying my katra. You are a strong individual, I have no doubt, however, my katra is... I have had my struggles. As have you. It would not be fair to have you hold both of our troubles."

"Query: Would it not be logical to have someone hold onto it until it can be returned to their body?" she pressed, leaning forward.

"Response: After this, there will be no body to return it to."

Mac'hla broke the formality, "We can find another! I will carry it for as long as it takes, Spock! I will carry it forever, if it means I will not have to lose you!"

Spock studied her face, which had broken into an emotional display of pain and desperation.

"Mac'hla. It is my time, and I have accepted it." he whispered.

A tear slid down Mac'hla's freckled cheek, "Please, do not say that."

Spock reached out and clasped his hand delicately around her wrist, "Mac'hla. You must accept it too."

"I have lost too many people I have cared about." she said, her voice trembling.. "I cannot stand to lose you as well."

"Mac'hla, you will do what you have always done. You will push through it and it will make you stronger. I have made up my mind."

Mac'hla sniffled, "I know you have. Forgive me for my selfishness."

"It is not selfishness." Spock assured them, "It is logical to feel this way."

She took a shuddering breath and placed an icy hand over his, "I will miss you."

Spock smiled faintly, "And I you, Lieutenant. Please. Let us meditate together... one last time."