California Secrets (Billy Hargrove)

- 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 -

- Katherine Witherfield -

All day, my stomach was doing flips. I felt nauseous from the nervousness, and it didn't help that Billy gave me dirty looks all day. Well, the looks were dirty when he would even look at me. It was like he didn't want me to exist. It hurt more than I could imagine, but I get what I deserve.

Billy and I are in the living room, waiting for James to get out of the bathroom since he insisted on peeing first. We stand in quiet since neither of us feel comfortable speaking. That applies to me specifically, though. I'm sure Billy just doesn't want to talk to me. The air is thick to breathe in and the atmosphere is tense. Shifting my feet uncomfortably, I sigh, fed up with the awkward silence.

"Billy, I just...."

"Lets not do this," he interrupts me. "Lets not make this about us." He brings his hand to the back of his head, scratching it through his curls. "I just want to tell him and get it over with." I give him a small nod, not saying anything.

James comes out of the bathroom, a smile on his face from being in the company of Billy, who he claims to now be best friends with. He's so innocent and naive that it forms a knot in my stomach. We direct him to sit on the couch, while Billy and I take a seat on the floor in front of him. It reminds me of the beginning of the new time, where things were calm and James just watched cartoons with Billy. But this isn't the same lighthearted situation. This one is life changing.

James adjusts how he sits in the seat, a smile still on his face from his excitement. He looks between me and Billy, a gleam of hope in his eye.

"James," I start, placing a hand on his knee. "Billy and I have something to tell you, and it might be a bit confusing at first."

James's smile grows even bigger. "Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

I turn to Billy, my eyes wide along with his. I turn back to James with a look of sympathy. "No, no baby." His smile falls and worry replaces his excitement. I squeeze his knee in an attempt to comfort him, taking a pause to get my words right. "So, you know how I told you we didn't know your daddy?" He nods, his eyes holding mine. "Well, what if I told you I did?"

He looks at me, staring me down, interested in every word that comes out of my mouth. "Really?"

"Mhm," I nod to him. "James....." I grab his hand, taking a small look at Billy before looking back at my baby. "Billy is your dad."

James turns his head to look at Billy. They stare at each other for a moment that feels like forever. Their glares are held and Billy's eyebrows slightly furrow in concern. Then, James smiles at him, causing Billy to do the same.

"You're my dad?" He asks Billy.

"Yeah, little man," he says, his voice cracking, and that's when I notice how Billy's eyes become shiny with tears.

James looks over at me, his smile disappearing once again. "Why did you lie, Mommy?"

I take a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. "That's a conversation for when you're older, okay?" 

"But why?"

I sigh. "Some adult things are very complicated. I'm sorry, baby."

"Did she lie to you too?" James asks Billy, and it feels like a shot to the heart.

"Yeah," Billy confirms, his voice hiding the hurt I know he feels.

"I'm sorry, I really am," I apologize to them both. "I really should have told you."

"You really should have," James says matter-of-factly. "But it's okay, now I know who my dad is!" I only wish I could be as enthusiastic as James right now. "And I wouldn't want it to be anyone else," James says with a smile.

"Well now that I know I'm your dad, we will get to spend time together. Just us," Billy tells him. "During the weekend I will come get you, and we will spend a day or two together. Then, I will bring you back to Mommy. How does that sound?"

"So does this mean you won't come after school anymore?"

Billy looks to me, and I give him an apologetic look. "I'm afraid not, buddy," he says.

"Are you guys not friends anymore?"

I stutter for a second before deciding on what to say. "Mommy has some things she needs to work out with Billy, okay?" He nods to me, knowing not to ask any more questions. He seems content with the information he got, and he jumps down to give me a hug. I hold him tight, squeezing him as if I never want to let him go. When I finally do, he goes to Billy, and a tidal wave of emotions floods over me as I watch them share a meaningful embrace.

I finally got this conversation out of the way, but now everything is going to be different. Our lives are changing drastically, and I'm praying it will be for the better.

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Got kinda emotional writing this chapter :(

Love u all, tysm for reading!!

-Liz<3