Into Every Stranger Generation

Chapter 25

 Eddie rested his head against the back of the chair, closing his eyes. Becca had refused to even look at him. He had been relieved to hear nothing had happened between her and Steve, but it destroyed him that she clearly hated the very sight of him. He knew he only had himself to blame. He couldn't control his goddamn emotions. It has always been difficult for him, but lately, it has become damn near impossible.

He's so angry all the fucking time. He's angry at the world and he's angry at the people in this town and he's angry at the goddamn bats and Vecna. The only time he felt like the beast within could be soothed was when he was with her and that clearly wasn't happening anymore. She couldn't get out of here fast enough once the discussion was finished. Becca had ran out the door like the house was on fire.

Eddie knew she was pissed that he'd weaseled his way onto Team Will. He didn't care. Maybe she hated him and maybe she didn't want to be anywhere near him, but he'd be damned if he was letting her walk right into that hellscape without him there to make sure she was safe. He hadn't forgotten what he'd heard her and Malcolm saying. She was not going to die, not on his watch.

If he was honest, a part of him was looking forward to this. At much as he hated that godforsaken place, at least he would be useful. At least he would finally be able to help. He'd been hiding in this house for over a month, despising himself even more for being useless. Now, he would have a purpose, something he could do besides brooding in the dark. He had a shot at being the hero instead of the villain.

"So, what did you do?" Robin asked, plopping on the couch across from him.

Eddie sighed. Becca, Steve, Nancy, and Dustin had headed off to the War Zone to pick up supplies. Ivy and Jax had headed off with Malcolm to gather the weapons they had at the motel. The others had headed out, but for some reason, Robin decided to hang with him. He liked Robin, but her incessant chattiness was not incredibly welcome at the moment. He just wanted to be left alone to sit in his doomed feelings. This was a rare moment when he was looking forward to brooding alone.

"Why do you assume I did something?" he responded shortly.

"Because you're a dingus," she said, stating it as if it were fact. "You sabotage yourself because you can't believe that you deserve anything good in your life. You are hugely dramatic, like five star Broadway show dramatic, and you blow everything way out of proportion. You are the king of terrible toddler-like temper tantrums and making things way harder than they have to be."

Eddie shook his head, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. Yeah, he was not in the mood for Robin's repeated ramblings but he did not need to alienate another of the few people he had on his side. He took a deep breath that he didn't need but it sure felt like it, reminding himself to stay calm.

"Gee, thanks," he said through gritted teeth.

"Look, I am just calling it like I see it," she shrugged, tossing her legs up and leaning back against the couch. She still held the bag of Doritos, munching between words. "My guess, you got scared. Here's this super hot chick who is totally into you. Most guys would be counting their lucky stars, but you? Nope. You jump right into the deep end, no wading in the shallows for you. You start running through all the reasons it won't work, all the possible worst case scenarios for how it ends and then you completely fuck it up. Why? Because you're terrified of actually letting yourself believe someone could love you for exactly who you are, fangs, freak, and all."

"Did anybody ever tell you that you should be a psychologist?" Eddie snapped sarcastically. "How nice it must be to just know everything. You've known me for just a little over a month. You don't know anything."

"Oh, I beg to differ," Robin smiled, sitting up and leaning toward him. "I know you because you are just like me. My brain is on a constant cycle of worst case scenarios. I am scared of absolutely everything because I always think about how everything can fall apart."