Dark Side of the Mirror

Chapter 2

"Joe"

That is the name I decided they should call me whilst I am here, I didn't want them going around using my actual name, no need to live in the past.

"Joe?"

Should I stick with Joe, or is there another name that would enliven the imagination of those who come into contact with me a bit more?

"Joe!"

I mean, seriously, who do you think of when you hear that name? Anyone?

"Yes, I know Ma, I am at his place right now. No, he isn't choking on anything, what is wrong with you?! Alright speak later, love ya Ma"

No, I didn't think so. Names are very important, sometimes you don't realise it unless you are given the chance to change it or have no choice but to change it.

"Wake up man! I don't have time for this, you know I'm not a fan of waking up at three in the morning!"

Three in the morning?!

I sit upright and there he is my partner in crime, Jace. Yeah, as far as a crime would go with this guy, he couldn't be very subtle. You would notice him a mile off. As of now, I could not see anything but his round face staring right back at mine. After carefully considering his options, Jace gracefully dived off my bed. In this context, "gracefully" means that just like a great whale when it jumps out of water gracefully and then bounds softly back into the depths of the ocean, instead in this case there is no water or any kind of gracefulness of any kind. 

"Argh", he groaned. 

No longer had he been laid there did he jump right back onto his feet like an acrobat after a successful presentation of skill and lots of practice.

"What is your deal?!", I must have sounded a lot angrier than I meant because Jace exploded right back at me.

"What is MY deal?! Pfft! YOU are the one who is constantly having these crazy dreams in the night and waking up the whole neighbourhood with YOUR screams".

He is right, the dreams were occurring a lot more often than I would like. They seemed to grow with intensity every time but the ending was always the same: I would always scream.

"Don't you think it would be good for you to see a professional about this?". Jace was now sitting on my chair with a very concerned look on his face, all he needed was a notepad and a pair of specs to put at the end of his nose and he would have looked like a doctor tending to his sick patient, and the crossing of his legs would have suited him perfectly. "You could see a doctor or an exorcist maybe? There are options! There is only so much we can do for you, Joe. I mean, we all understand that you have been through a lot but you cannot keep going like this".

I lay back down on my bed to stare at the ceiling. With each passing moment, the spotted pattern of the ceiling seemed to merge in on itself. The spots were no longer neatly arranged but were becoming more and more smudged and thrown around in disarray and chaos. I was crying. It wasn't the kind of tears that you would shed at the funeral of a loved one but rather out of shame, confusion and utter hopelessness.

Jace gets up from his chair and sits with me on the bed. I sit up again, reaching out for something to wipe my face with and find a box of tissues that are just out of reach from me. Jace brings the box closer and I begin to wipe, hoping that the tears would soon stop somehow, but they never do.

"We are all here for you Joe, this whole block is watching your back but you need to move on, what happened that night was not your fault..." Jace was trying his best to help but I couldn't control the way I was feeling, so I had to cut him off for being so naive.

"And how can you know that? If I was there and hadn't been so preoccupied with... I could have prevented it!"

Streams of tears fell down my face, making me wonder if the torment of my mind was ever gonna stop. Could I have prevented it? What if I was there? Would they still be here?

"You couldn't have known what would have happened, Joe. No one could have known."

Jace holds out his arms and pulls me closer in a friendly and comforting embrace. It did much to my self-esteem to know that I have such a good friend, but looking in the mirror behind him I see a frustration burning from within my eyes.