It wasn't your fault
That's what they all say.
But her last words were my name. Benjamin says because she loved me, not because she blamed me. But he didn't see the look in her eyes as the life bled out of her. She breathed my name softly before the light in her eyes went out. I watched her candle slowly flicker out. The brightest flame I'd ever seen, permanently extinguished.
How could it not be my fault?
The love of my life.
We were two weeks from being wed. Someone I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.. I caused the end of hers.
Oh, the irony.
I hadn't meant to do it. I was speaking at an event about the lab, trying to get donors. In the midst of a speech, I got a call. There had been a small chemical fire, she needed the treatment that I had brought with me to show. I took a cab, I tried to get there as fast as possible. But I wasn't fast enough.
We had 16 minutes together. Those 16 minutes were the ending of a chapter that was supposed to have decades longer. It simply didn't feel fair. Such a bright light that faded due to my own stupidity. If I'd gotten there only a few minutes earlier...she'd still be here...
Those 16 minutes lasted much longer. They loop in my mind, a prison that won't release me. Everything replays infinitely.
It wasn't your fault.
How am I to believe that? Please...someone, just give me answers. I'm tried of speaking to ghosts.
