Why I Prefer the Dark

Diving Deeper

I reached the coffee shop a little early. I was settling in at a corner table when Neha came inside. I heard her thoughts. She was a little confused, but I could sense some excitement and happiness beneath that. This had never happened before; I could only hear people's thoughts when they thought something inside their heads. I had never sensed their feelings. Maybe my subconscious was indeed right. I was descending deeper into people's minds.

"Hey, Sumit," she said and settled into one of the chairs.

"Hey!" Finally, my name. I thought for one second that she might call me Vijay too. Had it happened, I would have forgotten everything else and started murdering anyone who would make a sound close to that name.

"How are you today?" I asked.

'HOW WOULD I TELL HIM?' "Um...not good!"

"Tell me what?" I had developed a very annoying habit of ignoring whatever people would say out loud. Could anyone blame me? They were always lying. Instead, I'd respond to their actual thoughts. She had never seemed to have any trouble with this pesky habit of mine, but that day she looked offended.

"What? Oh! Would you please stop doing that?" she said.

I could sense from her voice that she was annoyed. "What? That has never bothered you before."

"That's right. But what I have to say today is something I want to tell you myself, not you reading it from my mind because that's the whole point here," Neha explained. "Can you please not be 'The Mind Reader' for a while? Can you respect my feelings?"

Alright. Even if my girlfriend had not said anything and not even thought about it, I sensed something weird. Something that even my subconscious picked at it. 'Uh! That's not gonna end well,' she said.

"Okay, Neha. Whatever you say. Go on." I assured her even though I wasn't sure of myself. I could sneak up on her thoughts, but as long as I kept my mouth shut, there would not be a problem.

'Um...SUMIT! I WAS THINKING ABOUT...'

'Stay quiet, Sumit,' I told myself in my head.

"Sumit, I was thinking about us this morning," she said out loud, and I tried my best not to look guilty, but something was not right about her. I tried not to pry it, but I could sense it. What was it?

'Come on, She is lying.' Apparently, my subconscious knew better.

"Things have not been so good between us lately," she added.

I had no clue when she ordered us coffee, when it arrived, or what she spoke. I could see her lips moving, but I wasn't listening. I had gone deeper into the mind. Not mine, hers. She had been with one of the boys in her class for a project that morning. I could see it. She was at his place. They were supposed to be doing the project, not chatting across the coffee table. There were two mugs too. Their project files, charts, and graphs were spread on the table unattended. Maybe it was a coffee break or something.

"So, how are you two doing?" he asked. "You know, you and him?"

"Umm, I don't know. We rarely talk, and when we do, Sumit's the one who does the talking." Neha seemed tense about me, but it was strange that I had never sensed it. She always seemed so happy about it whenever she was with me. "I have to keep thinking good things about him so that he won't notice," she answered.

So that's why I never realized the truth. I could only hear Neha's surface thoughts. But now that I could dive deep into her mind. Now that I knew she didn't love me, I didn't have to listen to her or even act. But why was she here? Why indeed? I looked further.

"I don't get it," the boy said. I knew what he was trying to do there. I could not read his mind, but I knew. "If you don't want to be with him, why are you?"