Melancholy

Choir

   Period two ends and it's lunch time. I've been tired all morning. I walk down the stairs into the hallways that reek of cheap axe and B.O. I open my locker and get my lunch and jacket out. I spread my jacket out on the dusty floor that I'm 100% sure the custodians don't mop. I sit down and plug my phone charger into the wall outlet and wait for the rest of my friends to come. I feel awkward just sitting by myself at lunch. Shortly after Sage sits down next to me and says hi.

"Uhh..don't you have choir today", Sage looks at me confused.

"Shit..yeah", I get up quickly, but a little too quickly that my lunch falls into the garbage next to me. RIGHT INTO THE GARBAGE.Fuck. I do the walk of shame to the art room where choir is held while Sage laughs at me.

"Hey you going to eat with us", Flora says as I almost walk past her. She's holding Aiden's hands. He's her boyfriend.

"I-I can't sorry I have choir", I walk away quickly.

I didn't mean to seem rude but I didn't want Ms. Clove -  the choir conductor - to be mad at me for being late.

I walk in the room and Alice, our strongest singer along with Catriona, Aria, Klorissa and the rest of the choir are eating their lunch.

"We start in five", Alice announces.

 Some people would think Alice is egocentric, pretentious and dogmatic but I wouldn't think that of her at all. She's an independent, intelligent, confident girl who just so happens to be good at putting people in their place. She practically runs the choir but of course we need teacher supervision so Ms. Clove is in charge. I slump on a chair in between Aria and Klorrisa. I lay my head down on the desk.

"What's wrong", Klorissa taps my poffy hair.

"Lethargic", I mumble.

"Leth- who now?"

"Tired", I raise my voice higher than I intend.

Klorissa backs off a little bit.

"Sorry, I just couldn't sleep it was too hot last night and the air was so moggy", I rant.

Klorissa nods.

"Did you eat lunch already", Aria asks.

I shake my head.

I eye her food. She has poutine from across the street, and an Arizona.

I'd ask her for some fries but she's so stingy with food and money.

"Okay, times up", Alice indicates us to do our warm ups by pressing the C key repeatably on the piano.

"DO RE ME FA SO LA TI DO", Alice starts and we repeat.

It seems childish, but warm ups actually work.

We have a performance this May.

  Ms. Clove works with her choir in sections. She'd work with Soprano's first then second soprano's, then tenors then Alto's. I'm an Alto so I just sit down and listen to the others until its my turn.

 Klorissa sits beside me.

"If I had money you know I'd give it to you so you can have lunch", she sounds sympathetic.

"Yeah, well you don't", I say curtly.

"I-I'm sorry", Klorissa puts her hood over her head and pouts.

"No, don't do that..I'm sorry it's just being tired and hungry it's frustrating", sometimes I forget how sensitive she is.

She pouts again and puts her head on the desk.

I put my hand on her thigh in a safe distance away from her crotch.

She peeped her head out of her hood and blushed a little.

"Hey, I'm alright okay."

"Okay".

"Alto's", Ms. Clove signals my turn.

   I have no idea what song we are singing so I just lip sync. It's all for the best because every time I attempt to sing Ms. Clove shoots me a dirty look and tells me I'm off. It's quarter to one and lunch is almost done. My stomach feels like it's collapsing into itself. So hungry. Klorissa and I just sat around talking about random crap and laughing at embarrassing moments. We only met this yet year but I feel like I've known her for a long time. We only really started talking last semester when we were a part of the school play Fiddler on the Roof. We'd rehearse during lunch, after school and sometimes on a Saturday. On the night of the play I hung out at her house and it's was really fun. I learned new things about her. I like choir, it kind of makes me forget that I'm in school. Music is kind of my life. Even if I can't sing for my life or play my violin as well as everyone else, it still, helps me cope a little bit.

  I do of course get jealous of people. Alice went to an advanced arts middle school, apart from that she was taught how to play the piano, and she's a theater kid and she's in advanced strings so she got the whole package. She is soprano and oh my god words cannot describe her angelic voice. I'm jealous of everyone who can attain information so quickly and apply it just like that. I guess you can say I'm not the sharpest knife in the...what even is the expression anyways? I forgot. The first bell rings and music follows after indicating us to go to class. Wanderlust by the Weeknd plays and you already know I'm about to jam out to every lyric in the hallway. Music is my life and so is choir. Flora and Sage don't like choir. They always say 'ewww' when I bring it up. It offends me a little but I don't have to defend choir to those who don't appreciate it. I've been in choir ever since I was grade three. Yes I have always been a background singer, but background singers are the foundation of a choir. No one understands.