Adopted

Day TWO

It took me a long time to calm down. The dream had been disturbing and I still felt like I was drowning. I'd always had aqua-phobia. My leg has to just leave the surface and I lose all control of my being. My legs stop to function and my head wants to take residence in the water. Such hypocrite my head is, I tell you.

Dad sat beside me and spoke. He kept telling me it was a dream and that I'm fine. I felt like that little 5 year old I was, who was entering a swimming pool for the first time and had noticed how overwhelming water could be.

After I was fine, I got ready and went down for breakfast. Peter wasn't there. Dad said he'd gone to a movie with his friends. Peter would do that whenever he wanted a break. There were times he'd leave in the morning and not come back till night.
I got a call from Amanda (more of Amy) a while after my breakfast. She said her parents were going out and her sister was off to her boy friend's. She wanted to come over. It was never a problem at my house. In fact, dad liked to invite my friends over (though he would never let me go to their place).
Amy arrived home at around 12. Dad had already left for some work. Amy and I watched a recorded episode of our favourite TV serial for maybe the third time. We had lunch when dad got home.
The day, in simple words had been extremely normal. Nothing very great yet. And it was almost 4 pm. Peter got home at 6 and shortly after that, there were police sirens outside our house.
Amy had left before Peter came and it was only me, Peter and dad at home. At first we thought the police had come for some other reason. But then there was a knock on the main door. I opened it to two men in blue.
I greeted them and invited them into the house. They sat on the couch and only took some water. After a while dad sent me away upstairs to my room. Peter stayed back which made me feel bad because he was always told everything while I was always pushed into my room.
I sat on my bed checking messages and mails on my laptop for almost an hour. Thinking the police had left, I went down but they were still there talking fast. I stood on the stairs and listened.
"You cannot do that! I told you already... " dad said sounding angry.
" I know! I can't help it. We have orders. Your only chance is the court... " one of the police said.
" you can't do this! You just can't! The hearing is 4 days later! I can't let this happen! "
"I'm as helpless as you! We'll have to!"
And then Peter saw me. He glanced back at them quickly and dad smiled and asked me to go to my room.
"I'll call you when we're done, okay? " he said.
I turned to walk back up but then I heard the police speak again.
" she needs to know, David. She is the one who's going. You should tell her now. It's best. "
I turned, almost frightened.
" what do you mean, I'm the one who's going? Where am I going? I'm not going anywhere! "
" Tara, I'll come and tell you everything. Just go upstairs for now."
"no! I don't want to go upstairs! I want to know what the hell is going on! Why do you never tell me anything! You tell Peter everything! Why not me? I want to know! And I'm not going to my room now! "
" Tara!" dad said in a high tone.
"why should I always go away? Why can't you just tell me!? " I was screaming on the top of my voice now.
Oh, and I'm sure I was on the verge of crying.
I went back to my room and shut the door close. I heard Peter's footsteps come up. I got off the bed and latched the door from inside.
I heard him asking me to open the door from the other end but I was seriously upset. I don't know why, but I felt so discriminated. It was always Peter for dad. He'd tell him everything! Be it work or about mom. He'd let Peter stay back when he met with his colleagues or friends but he'd always manage to send me away. Right then, I would have said, he'd always mange to get rid of me.
There were so many things going in my head.
He hadn't told me the whole thing about my adoption. He hadn't told me about this random father and sister of mine. He wasn't ready to let me know why the police was here. He wouldn't tell me anything!
It felt like he just wanted to keep me hiding forever. He never wanted me to get out of the cage. And it didn't matter what I wanted. I wanted to know things! Wanted to know everything that was happening!

In a short while dad was upstairs too, knocking on the door. After a few knocks dad shouted at me to open the door. I opened it reluctantly.

The police officer was there too. Peter came beside me and put an arm around me. I pushed it away and took a step away. Dad was looking angrily at me. But before he could say anything the officer interrupted.
"Tara, right? Well, there was a case filed by your father against David of keeping you here illegally. So I'm here to take you to your father Ram. He's been given custody as he has presented some proofs."
"why can't he tell me that? " I say in a stubborn tone looking at dad.
" how does it matter, Tara? " Peter said.
"why would it matter to you anyway? He doesn't hide anything from you. He doesn't hide you either actually."
"mind your language Tara! " dad shouted.

I just stood there as stubbornly as I could. I knew this wasn't the very right time to think about all this or act like this but I just felt so angry. Of all the things in the world, my troubling thought was that my father and brother don't tell me things. It felt so sensible then.

"I don't want to talk to you. " I said looking at dad.
"Not you either." I turned to Peter.
I felt bad and it hurt but I was too angry at that time for anything.
Peter stayed back while dad took the officer and went downstairs after throwing an angry look at me.
I just wanted to cry but it felt against my ego at that moment.
Peter waited till dad was in the hall again and then turned to me.
"what's the problem now? "
" nothing. "
" Tara."
"I don't wanna talk."
"well, then this sucks. Because I want to."
I just turned away and went to my bed.
He sat beside me.
"you want dad to tell you everything. That's all right? When has he not? Even if now he asked you to go he told you he'll come and tell you right?"
"so what? He'll come and tell things to me as though I'm a kid and can't handle shit. "
" well, you're just proving him right by this behavior then. "
He was right. But I wasn't ready to accept that.
Peter left after that. I guess he saw that there was no way anyone could put sense into me right now.
After a long time the main door shut and I heard dad come up.
A series of scolding followed about the way I had presented myself in front of the officer and even family.
"that officer's coming tomorrow morning to take you to Ram's house. You'll have to stay there for a few days. If there's anything that disturbs you or if they cause you discomfort you come back here okay? I'll talk to the police. We'll try our best to have you back. Understand? " I didn't reply.
"Understand?!"
I nod.
"now start packing for some 3-4 days. I'll come to drop you there tomorrow. Okay? "
The rest of the day went in packing and gazing at the ceiling. Peter came to offer help and I made him pack all the accessories. Annoyed him a lot to match the colour with my dresses but he did it anyway.
I was done before dinner and after dinner I just went to bed directly.
I had the same nightmare again but woke up around 11pm. And then I had a different one when I finally fell asleep at 12:30 AM.