The Weekend Arrangement

Unable to Escape Your Gravity

 They let the sun trace a path outside, bright after the storms of yesterday; and neither man is sure how long they stay in that tiny guest bed, limbs tangled and faces whisper close. It's an intoxicating nearness; and the most time they spend apart is the few seconds it takes to wrest the jumper over Martin's head so they can lie next to each other without the obstruction of fabric between them. It's astoundingly easy to luxuriate in the small bed with one another; and Jon is as surprised by the effortless way they've curled together as he is comforted by the feel of Martin's warm, soft skin.

The gentle caresses and give and take of their kisses is languorous and slow; not really trying to ignite into more, but leaving the possibility open if they do. They're mostly enjoying the closeness and the serenity, before needing to leave this little island and facing the wider implications of what last night and this morning may mean.

Martin is goggled by the ease with which he and Jon get through the remainder of the morning. The bed is small, but when Jon reluctantly pulls away to climb out, Martin feels his loss keenly. He had been expecting the tension that had dogged them in the Archives to come flooding back at any time. There had to be some reason for things to be so very tense at work and so very easy here. It stays easy though, and they find excuses to brush up against each other while doing the most mundane tasks.

Far from releasing the tension that had been building in them over this past year; last night and this morning have seemed only to galvanise their desire. There's an implicit heat in everything they do, and even fully clothed and warily sizing up the situation in Jon's kitchen every time one grazes against the other, it threatens to unleash a cascade of passionate embraces. They've ended up milling around Jon's kitchen, awkward and anxious and unsure what exactly to do with their bodies away from the bedroom. Even at a distance though; the ardour persists, and when Martin licks a spoon clean of honey from his tea, Jon looks at him with a longing that borders on hunger. The look is so raw and obvious, Martin nearly drags Jon back upstairs; appointment at the hospital be damned.

There is an appointment though; and Martin's afraid that being the first one to say something about leaving will break whatever spell he and Jon are currently under and that will be the end of all of this . There's a thought, shameful to Martin in its seeming callousness, that he might just skip out on the meeting entirely and leave his mother's fate to the whims of the medical staff she is currently with. He knows he won't, he couldn't- Martin's whole life has centred on putting aside his own wants and needs to ensure she was more comfortable; and no matter how badly he wants right now, the patterns that took a lifetime to set will not be changed so easily. He's resigned to his fate- he has to go talk to doctors he won't understand about the care for a woman who barely tolerates him

He checks the time again, and it's still relatively early, but he has to go all the way home to change and get his mother's medical files and as little as he wants to leave this cosy kitchen and Jon- filial duty beckons him onward.

"Jon, I don't want to- really don't want to-but I'm going to need to leave soon. Thank you so, so much for being here for me last night, and, uh, again this morning-" Jon practically leers at him over his tea cup, and Martin feels his neck and face flush all over again. "-But I have to go talk with the doctors about my mum. It's time for me to seriously think about a long term facility for her, and I don't know where to start..." He trails off, and sighs heavily. Martin knows he has another day of grinding responsibility ahead of him and he's already exhausted by just the thought of it.

"Martin...'' Jon takes a deep breath, nervous and anticipatory. "-would you like to come back here tonight- after you're done with all of that?" The question is tentatively posed. Jon has decided to take the risk; after this morning it seems like he should be less afraid of being turned down, but it worries him nonetheless.