Christmas Gone Wrong (VegasPete) - Completed

End

This was new year's eve and it was going way worse than whatever horror Vegas had in mind a month back. It felt strained to make conversation with his parents. Staying in the same room as them felt awkward and unsettling like he can't be himself around them anymore.

Yesterday, he and his mother, after dreadful hours and days of torment, finally sat down to talk. The talk consisted of just as much silence as there were words.

It took Vegas another few dreadful hours to make up his mind to write the letter to Pete. At first, it seemed pointless. Pete had given up on whatever they had willingly. That was what Vegas told himself multiple times and every single time it felt like stabbing an open wound. Pete really did leave the thread leaving Vegas hanging there. Alone and with too many questions. Vegas couldn't say Pete didn't warm him. He couldn't even laugh at his misery. Did he not have this coming since the beginning?

Vegas collected himself after many failed attempts and wrote down the words. He was careful not to spill any traces of his bleeding heart, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded. How could he hide the pain when it was all he felt? It didn't matter though. For all he knew, Pete wouldn't even bother to read his letter. Vegas was not going to do another clickbait. He was going to stick to his black envelope. He swallowed the bitter taste. Today, more than ever, the black colour resembled his darkened heart.

He swore to expect nothing. He swore that if nothing, this would be his last letter and if nothing, he could at least live with the fact that he tried. Would he really? He was not sure if he even believed his own thoughts.

He couldn't push aside the constantly building anxiousness in his guts as he laid down on his bed that night. Neither was sleep kind to him nor was his mind. The silence screamed at him and so did his thoughts.

He stared at the ceiling like he had grown so used to doing. The dim moonlight from the window casted a shadow of longing on the dull walls – a reminder of something he had become in the last few days. A dark and hollow void.

He scoffed humorlessly. The pain and betrayal did ease out the poets from within. He hoped for a dreamless night when his eyes began to feel heavy. Lately, even his dreams hadn't been kind to him.

-

Pete had not felt so suffocated in the past few years as he was feeling now. There was an enormous sized rock sitting on his chest and he was struggling to breathe under its weight.

He came on the rooftop to escape but if one would ask him what he was escaping from, he wouldn't have an answer. He didn't know himself. He wasn't sure if it was something he could even escape. Time was supposed to heal things, right? He could hold on to that hope, right? Even if that didn't work for him the first, the second or any other time.

On his way here, Tankhun had asked where he was leaving to in the middle of their study session. They had been sitting in one of their mutual friend's rooms for a couple of hours.

"The room's feeling stuffy. You guys continue, I'll be back in a while," Pete had said and Tankhun hadn't looked convinced one bit. He didn't stop Pete though and Pete was more than relieved to escape the questioning gazes of his friends. He was only half lying back then. It was getting harder to breathe but not for the reason he had mentioned. He was afraid that he could no longer hide the rush of emotions building inside him so he decided to hide himself. He had been hiding for so long, wasn't this supposed to feel easier now?