Poison Ivy

Chapter 7

Ivy

I woke up seeing, Aster getting ready to leave. I could see from the dampness of his hair that he had already showered.

"Good morning," giving me a smile he went on buttoning his shirt.

"Morning," I replied back as I picked up my robe from the nightstand. I felt the slickness between my legs and soreness. I would need to lay down in the tub with the natural oils and Epsom salt, I guess. Last night he had scared me to the bones. The anger, his words, and everything was a mix.

I knew it well that somewhere between his lovemaking I might have passed out of tiredness but that has never stopped him ever. There were days when he would wake me in the middle of the night just to have his pleasure. Some days I would indulge and some days I would pass out too tired due to the medicines that I had to take every night.

The pills made me feel too tired, made me forget but he insisted that they were necessary. It wasn't something that I could let go of. They were for my health and important, he has always emphasized.

"Do you want me to cook breakfast for you?" I asked though I knew every well his answer would be the same as always.

"No," all the time he had spent with me he would never eat what I had made. "I did make myself something up," he added buttoning up his shirt.

"Will you come tonight?" I didn't need to worry myself to death about someone entering in and breaking.

"Some is impatient," he teased. I just stared at him.

"I don't want to be scared like that again. I will die," I saw him roll his eyes at my word.

"I won't let you die," the words said so carelessly that they were less believable with each passing day. "Don't worry I will call you or text you about my plans this time." The thought of him texting me reminded me of my phone which was in the dustbin.

"My phone is broken," I told him as I moved towards the en suite bathroom.

"What happened to the last one?" I could hear that he was very least interested in listening to me. It really didn't matter to him that I broke them too many. With the passing time and the same of the words repeating I knew he was losing interest in me. Maybe that was why he was marrying Sienna in the first place.

However, deep down I knew that death was inevitable. In my case, it was going to come from him if anyone else didn't kill me. My death was overdue. Aster hadn't killed me the last time but maybe he would do this time. What else use was I to him?

Maybe love was really an illusion like lust and would time it would dissipate into thin air and when it did, I would no longer be alive to see another day.

"I asked you something?" He was leaning against the bathroom door as he looked at me through the mirror above the basin. I was lost in my thought to realize that I hadn't answered him.

"I was feeling uneasy and I vomited over it," there was no use in telling him anything about the call. The fear that it instilled in me was not something he could understand. Turning the tap, the noise of water flowing filled the silence that was in between us. He was staring at me as trying to analyze the truth. Ducking my head down I washed my face. Splash after splash lost in the water I thought about how small this life was. Confined to this house, confined to little time, confined to his love. It was just confined.

Maybe I could just walk away from it all.

"Here," I heard him from beside me. My whole body going stiff. Another memory surfacing. Even the thought of it turned me to ice. The fear it rippled off itself made me want to hide under the bed.

"Here, Ivy. Let's do it here." I heard his laugh.

"Wouldn't it be lovely," the knife digging in my thigh as he laughed madly.

"Ivy!" Aster screamed close to my ear, his hand wrapping around me. I didn't know but I felt the dizziness take over me. Aster's face came into view and I touched it to make sure he was real.

No longer could I hear his word but he was here. I was here. No longer in the small room in the mansion. No longer bleeding. He was not here. I was safe.

I felt the sting of a slap on my face jolting me out of the dizziness.

"Ivy, are you alright?" I saw the concern all over his face. Before I could respond to him, he picked me up in arms moving me to the bed.

"What happened?" He asked with so much concern that made me want to believe in our love once again.

"I got lost in the past times," I could never tell him the horror of that night. I even didn't remember half of it but just a glimpse of it would still me with fear. It was all to be blamed on the call. The fear she had brought forward, Aster marrying Sienna. It all was playing with my mind.

"Don't get up. Take a rest," he told as I moved to the edge of the bed.

"Would you like me to send Julian?" his question was filled with concern but did he know the torture he would be putting in me. How could I tell him about all the pains he made me go through which were nothing compared to what I had already gone through. Life with him was far easier than what I had endured. I should be thankful for all of it, to him but yet my heart desired for more. It desired more life and love.

I could never have them. Looking away from I stared at the window. The same window that I have looked for past all years.

This was my life. This was safe and the safer I was the more I won't be subject to torture.

But is this all worth living when he was going to leave me soon. When all I would be another woman, even though I knew from the starting that I was always going be the other woman.

"Ivy?" I heard him calling me.

"No, I will be alright," I turned my head towards him giving him a soft smile. This was we were. This was what I always going to be.

"I will get you a new phone. Don't worry about it." he caressed my cheek with concern and worry still lingering in his eyes.

As I stared into those eyes more and more, I realized that I could never keep him.

He could keep me for life but in reality, I could never keep him.

My blood has made him face a horror that he could never forget. He might have killed my family but it was mine who started all this. It was the blood running inside my veins that had inflicted such deep wounds on his mind and heart to never be forgiven.

Yet he loved me. This was had to be enough.

It had to be because all I could ever ask for was death.

And when love between us dissipated it was the lonely thing, I would ever ask from him.

The distant ringing of his phone had him cursing making his hand leave my skin. I closed my eyes trying to keep the tears at bay. This was always going to end in one way only and that was my blood.

"I have got to go," I knew he was gone. His voice was distant and cold. It was in these walls that he loved me but outside this bubble, we were nothing but enemies.

Outside these walls, he had hatred for me because no one would ever let him forget what my family did to him.

This time I didn't move myself to the window seeing him walk away. I didn't move as the engine started and the sound of it grew weaker. What use of it was when this was always going to be our reality.

Love hurts. But what do you do when you love someone you hate?

Sometimes death seems like a pleasure I had escaped.

Could you have live such a life?

 Is this what love was?

 Is the sin of parents to be paid off by children.Tell what love is?