State of Grace: A One Direction Fanfiction

Twenty One:

I sat with my back on the wall on my bed. Harry was sitting in front of me against the headboard. My legs were laying across his lower body.

“Confess.”

“I don’t know how.” I said biting the tip of it. 

“It’s not that hard, and it feels good when you do it.” He said stroking my bare legs.

“I don’t even know where to start!” I said.

“Why were you acting so strange in the kitchen before?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I lied.

“You’re left eye brow twitches when you lie. So I can tell when you lie. Don’t lie.” He said, i never realized how observant he was. 

“It’s just hard to explain.”

“We have all night, it’s only 11:30.” He said.

“I..um. I kind of have trust issues. And like, it’s hard for me to say what I’m feeling.”

“Grace you know you can trust me with everything. With the boys all being married, my mom getting older,  and Gemma busy with her twins there isn’t anyone i’m going to tell except maybe Shadow. He is a good listener.”

“I know I can trust you it’s just it’s hard for me to just open up. I hate being so emotional because that’s not my personality.”

“You’re a girl, you’re supposed to be emotional.”

“I hate that. Because it’s so stereotypical for girls to go to their boyfriends and sap about how they broke a nail and that’s not me.”

“I know that. You’re not like a normal girl. You’re kind of like a boy but in a girls body.” he said and I gave him a strange look.

“You know I mean that it the most kind and loving way. I like that you’re not some crazy girl. You’re normal.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“But why did you get so weird when i kept calling you perfect and you questioned the way I think?”

“Because i’m not perfect. I’m not this gorgeous girl who bows drool over. Like when we ran into that girl from back when i was in high school it was too weird. She was the popular girl that boys liked and I was the loser who spent her time on the computer or drawing pictures. When i was a teenager I pictured myself alone traveling  the world with a bakery to go to or an art studio.”

“But you can still do that. Just i’ll be there to join you.”

“Which is so weird! Before I go to sleep every night I think about what I’m grateful for. It just so happens you’re the thing I am the most grateful for. Like I said before I never thought that I would be dating you, or anyone. I didn’t have my first kiss until i was 18.” I said.

“I don’t get why not. You’re gorgeous!”

“You have to say that. You’re my boyfriend.”

“But I mean it. I love your eyes, hair, mouth, scent everything. You’re perfect.”

“But i’m not. I’m not a girl that you see in the magazines or the super skinny body.”

“You’re insecure? You never seem like that type of person.”

“I hide my feeling really well.” I said I thought I was going to start crying. Harry noticed this too.

“You know you can’t start crying because I will start crying. I don’t like to see you upset.” 

“I won’t.” I said taking deep breaths that made me not cry.

“You know the song Little Things? That we had on our second album.”

“yes. It was my favorite song on the album.”

“It’s meant for girls like you. Who are perfect and beautiful but don’t realize it.”

“Thanks for creating a incredible song.” I said kissing him.

“Thank Edward Sheeran.”

“Right I should do that.” I smiled.

“But you never told me why you don’t like the way you think.” harry said yawning.

“Because you’re crazy.” I smiled.

“really though.”

“You’re really optimistic when we are together.”

“That’s not always a bad thing.”

“But when you are hurt, or something bad happens to you it sucks.”

“I won’t hurt you I promise.” He said lifting his pinky to me.

“Really?”

“Pinky swear. I promise I wont ever hurt you.” He said and I locked pinkies with him. Then kissed our twined hands.

“You do some strange things.” I said.

“You have to kiss the hands too.” He said not letting go of my pinky. I kissed our hands and then Harry let go.

“Now get in your bed peasant.” I said pointing to the mattress on the floor. Harry laughed but did what I asked. But he kneeled up so his elbows were on my bed.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep with me tonight?”

‘yes I didn’t get much sleep last night.” i smiled.

“me either, but it was fun.” He smiled. I leaned down and kissed him.

“Goodnight Harry.” 

“night Gracey.” he said smiling before laying down. I smiled to myself, i was lucky to have him. I just have to learn to stop being so insecure.