psychos' love | heehoon

4 | It just has started

During the next couple of days, Heeseung was busy analysing all the aspects of Sunghoon - his behaviour, interets, habits and etc. From stalking the boy himself to watching every person that passed his newly gained obsession.

For a moment Heeseung felt as if he had gone crazy, almost failing to keep up with gathering all this information.

It was truly hard to find any piece of information about Sunghoon. From the begging of school he never spoke too much, stating his opinions only when asked by someone, mostly teachers.
He never hung out with anyone, the only conversations he had with a classmate were always initiated by the latter.

No one really knew who Sunghoon was. He seemed to be a loner by choice. Students described him as mystical, harsh, intelligent, cold... but was it the truth? Heeseung couldn't accept not knowing what's going on in the younger's head. He gave everything he'd got to the research, desperately digging for any clues.

After those tough days, it all felt useless. The only picture in Heeseung's head was the same expressionless face of Sunghoon's, taunting him at night.

"Ugh, it's so useless!" Heeseung exclaimed, being utterly frustrated.

"Hey, um... Heeseung-ssi, do you need like... any help perhaps?" Jungwon asked, worrying about his hyung acting so different.

On that day; Heeseung, Jungwon and Jake were walking after school together, since the duo wanted to catch up on the oldest's stuff he had been doing lately.

"It's because I-" Heeseung paused, almost saying the truth about his plan miserably falling through. Yet, he stopped himself, not willing to let himself fail again.

"You what...?"

Heeseung then proceeded to forcefully break down, trying not to seem suspicious, "It's because I can't understand that stupid, new math topic!" he told an obvious lie, though his acting skills covered for him. "It never happened before, I don't get it!" he continued, completing his lie.

What he did was indeed risky but that was all he could think of at the given moment, so he had to just go with it.

"Oh, ahaha, well don't worry about it, hyung!" Jake said nervously, looking at Jungwon for help. They were so confused, Heeseung wasn't like this, he would never act like this because of maths, right? Nevertheless, his behaviour told them otherwise.

Jake patted the older's back, "Even geniuses can't understand it all! Don't be so harsh on yourself," he cracked an awkward smile.

Heeseung looked up at Jake, "Really, you think so?" he asked, cringing at himself in his head.

"100% sure," Jake confirmed. Jungwon rapidly nodded, agreeing.

"Maybe you should give up on it for now, supposedly things you desire will come to you eventually," Jungwon added, trying to give his hyung a little advice.

"Yeah, you are right I guess," Heeseung said, genuinely thinking about his friend's words.

"Wait, that really may be the answer..." He muttered to himself, loud enough for the duo to hear.

"Your welcome?" Jungwon said hesitantly, not knowing why Heeseung thought about it so deeply.

"Yeah, thanks. Anyways, I gotta go, I... have to do something at home. Bye guys!" Heeseung excused himself from talking with them any longer.

"Sure... bye, hyung," Jake replied, still not getting the older.

Heeseung sped up to quickly arrive at his flat. To think about the change in his plan he had to spend some time alone, rechecking all the other available options.

Once entering, he threw his bag somewhere on the floor and took a look at the notes related to his new obsession.

Eventually, he decided to try Jungwon's idea thinking Sunghoon could actually come to Heeseung himself. That would make his life easier. Unfortunately, nothing was guaranteed.

Ever since that day, time passed faster for Heeseung. Finally he could focus on something else. Well, not entirely. Sometimes he'd take a peek at Sunghoon, explaining to himself it was unintentional and not that big of a deal anyway.

Though, all that "meaningless" incidents reminded him that his plan, again, didn't seem to be working. It became disappointing rather than frustrating for him. Heeseung really didn't want to lose hope, he believed it was a matter of time.

Needless to say, it stopped looking like that was the case. Nothing changed, Heeseung didn't get any signs from Sunghoon that the latter at least somewhat noticed his presence.

'Who said you even exist to him whatsoever? It's not like you have ever talked or anything in particular. You're just a random classmate, no one special or worth attention,' Heeseung thought while walking down the streets, drifting away from reality due to the countless questions formed in his brain.

His self-esteem was based on his success. If he gained or won something, he'd feel fulfilled and his mood would be boosted till the next challenge appeared. Come to think of it, it was strongly unhealthy. Not only he became a perfectionist, he also made sure it affected others around him. The worst part of it was that he wasn't even aware of his mentality, thinking it had to be this way.

Arriving to the flat, he saw a white piece of paper folded in half, lying on the doormat.

'What?' was the only thing Heeseung thought at that moment, being completely surprised.

The paper wasn't even in an envelope, just straight up thrown on the cold floor, waiting for someone to pick it up or step upon.

The raven-haired looked around, trying to figure out whether it's for him or somebody left it there accidentally. He found no one. It also couldn't fly there because of the wind since nearby windows were shuttered.

Heeseung sighed as he bended low to pick up the piece of paper. Before opening, he unlocked his flat and went inside, locking it afterwards.

"I hope this isn't some unfunny joke from neighbours' kids cause if it's gonna be that, I swear to god..." he said out loud while opening.

The inside quite shocked him. On the paper was written a short text:

You're not the only one interested,
the feeling is mutual.
-16.19

"Uh, ok?" he questioned, not getting any idea on what should the text mean. "whathever, I need a nap."

Ignoring the message, he put the paper in a random spot, then proceeded to trudge to the couch in the living room.

"People are weird," he stated before falling asleep, wanting to skip the rest of the day.
________________________________

Anyone can unencrypt the numbers from the letter? Let me know your guesses >:)

Also why do I feel like writing/proofreading (e.g. for this book) when I don't have the time but when I do I feel unmotivated?

Like wth is this, so unfair