If Only, If Only

Daddy Issues! Yeahhhh!

I barely remember my dad. He had left when I was ten, but I didn't really mind. He scared me.

Dad hit all of us a lot, and I never got a good night's rest as a kid because of all the screaming and shouting coming from my parent's room. Squid and I would always think of the most ridiculous games to play to try and distract ourselves.

I don't know where Dad went, and I never got to say goodbye. Like I said before, I didn't mind. I wish Dad had been a good father, but he wasn't and it's too late to change that now, so it's just better that he's gone.

Squid never talks about it, but I know deep down it hurts him. Squid always believed that Dad had some good in him, which made him leaving hard for Squid. Squid used to be a big sweetheart, but after Dad left, he became a lot less trusting.

Like I said before - when change happens, you need to adjust, and sometimes that means not being so trusting. It leaves your heart vulnerable.

Enough of the sob story background. It sucks, it really does, but a lot of things suck. That's just how it goes.

One day, while I was in a very heated game of pool with X-Ray, Stanley was writing a letter.

Sweet, sensitive Stanley wrote letters often, this wasn't a surprise, but today Squid decided to see who Stanley was writing to.

I looked up as Squid snatched the letter from beneath Stanley, reading it while Stanley made several unsuccessful and rather pathetic attempts to get it back.

"Awww you miss your mommy and daddy?" Squid sneered.

"I don't want them to worry," Stanley said, lunging for the letter only for Squid to jerk it away. I debated intervening, but I decided to wait until it went further. Zero had the same idea too apparently, and he seemed to be holding his pool stick defensively, protectively watching Stanley.

"They don't care," Squid said. I looked up at X-Ray and pursed my lips. Maybe it was time to step in, Squid didn't usually act like this.

"Give me the letter," Stanley called desperately as I set down my pool stick and walked forward. People cleared out of my way, excitement in their eyes, hoping for another fight.

"Believe me," Squid said, grabbing the collar of Stanley's shirt. "They're glad to be rid of you,".
Squid angrily crumpled up the letter and threw it to the ground.

I picked the letter up and handed it to Stanley, apologizing on behalf of my brother. I then followed Squid, who had stormed outside and gone to the tent.

I pushed aside the tarp at the entrance and saw Squid laying on his cot, staring blankly at the ceiling. I could see a dirty teardrop sliding down his cheek.

I wasn't very good at talking, but sometimes just being there is enough, so I sat on the floor and leaned against the cot.

"I'm sorry, I-," Squid started to say, but I interrupted.

"Don't be. You have emotions too, you can show them,". It was all I could think of to say. I know I wasn't good at talking, but I hoped Squid realized I was there for him anyway.

We sat there for a little longer in silence before the dinner bell rang. Everyone at D-Tent was quieter than usual that night, and they were all extremely curious about what had happened.

"Everything alright?" X-Ray asked when I sat beside him as usual.

"Yep, all good," I said. X-Ray stared at me for moment before simply nodding.

During dinner, Squid quietly apologized to Stanley.

When X-Ray turned his head to talk to Zig Zag, I stole his bread, but could only take one bite before he caught me and quickly snatched it back.

That night, we played cards until it was late at night and Mom started to yell at us. As I looked around at the boys, I wondered what their stories were. Why were they here? Did they have loving parents or were they like me?

As I thought about these things, sleep overcame me.