Under A Paper Moon |N.H|

14

BRIANNE MOORE

"Have you had your first kiss yet?" my sister asks me. She is sitting somewhere behind me, probably on my bed, but I am far too focused on perfecting my appearance in the mirror in front of me to care about where in my room she is. Except I suddenly remember the time she spilled a smoothie on my floor, staining the carpet a sickly green shade, and I now have to keep a closer watch on her and restrict areas of my room. My bed is one of them.

I turn around and find her in a chair at my desk. That spot is safe for her to sit in.

"Why are you asking me this?" I ask her instead of answering, turning back around to the mirror.

"Because you're getting ready for a date and putting a lot of chapstick on," she explains. I embarrassingly lower the chapstick from my lips, tossing it in my makeup bag. "I didn't know if you were hoping to get lucky, or if you were trying to live up to past experiences."

I roll my eyes at her. She is quiet with everyone else, but somehow has so much to say to me.

I look at her through my mirror. She watches me closely. I raise my eyebrows at her, trying not to smile. "Have you had your first kiss yet?"

"No," she responds.

I nod once. "Thought so."

"My friend tried to when we were hanging out," she says, much to my surprise. I was only trying to tease, and I certainly wasn't expecting my younger sister to tell me she was almost kissed for the first time. I always believed first kisses weren't a big deal, but now we're talking about my baby sister, and all I want to know is the weirdo who tried to plant his crusty lips on her. "It was me and him and a few other people. He tried to kiss me, but I didn't let him."

"Why not?" I ask, wondering if she wanted to, but was too scared.

She fought a gag. "He smelled like sour cream and onion chips."

I burst into laughter. She's always been so animated, over the top, dramatic, the nine. It's funny until she's acting that way towards you. Then, it's irritating and immature. Right now I find it funny and don't bother fighting a laugh.

"Have you kissed anyone?" she asks me once we both quiet down.

"Yeah, I thought it was clear that we established the fact that I've had my first kiss."

"I mean, have you kissed anyone?" she clarifies. "Like have you been the one to initiate it. Did you kiss someone?"

I think back, shuddering at the thought. Some of those, I wanted to forget. However, I also feel a rush of embarrassment since my sister is the one asking. No wonder she hesitated to tell me about her almost first kiss.

"Yeah," I answer quickly. "No more kiss talk though."

She watches me as I stand up from where I was sitting on the floor. I walk over to the desk she is sitting in front of and grab a bottle of perfume, spraying myself everywhere.

"When I go on my first date, will you help me get ready, or will you make fun of me?" she asks quietly.

"I'll help you get ready," I assure her. "And then, I'll help you get ready on your wedding day, and we'll laugh about how the first guy probably turned out to be a loser and you're marrying the person of your dreams."

<>

There's something really weird happening in my brain lately.

I have been having these thoughts that encourage me to act out of my comfort zone, and I was really liking the home I made in my mind where I finally felt like I was in the right spot. Getting out of my comfort zone should be a good thing, but right now, my brain is encouraging me to go to a bar, and something about that sounds absolutely ridiculous.