Charlotte has always craved the power of time travel.
Be careful what you wish for.
Now a sophomore at the University of South Carolina, Charlotte can't help but feel lonely. She may have people she can go clubbing with, but she doesn't have any rea...
"Intro to Marine Biology doesn't wait," Emery murmurs in my ear.
I spring up into a sitting position and silence my alarm. I scan my single dorm. Last night's clothes are still in a heap on the floor by my bed. The walls are as white and blank as ever. The door is locked, and there's no one here but me.
Ralphie, my teddy bear that I got at the university bookstore my first semester here, is buried in the pillows next to me. I pick him up and smooth out his black-and-red USC jersey. "I guess it's just you and me now, huh," I tell him. If Emery were here, though, she'd be right. Marine Bio doesn't wait. "Time to get ready for school," I sigh.
When I try to climb out of bed though, I wince. My limbs ache, and I get a brief flashback of last night's escapade. Getting shitfaced with people I'd never met at the Sigma Theta Pi mansion; jumping in the pool on a dare. Getting felt up by a frat boy and abruptly calling my own Uber and leaving, left to get back to my dorm alone. Finding the energy to shower the chlorine from my body while still in an inebriated state, trying not to cry but then thinking it wouldn't matter since no one was there to see it anyway.
Fun.
I place my feet on solid ground and try to stand. My head thumps rhythmically, like the steady tick of a pendulum. I grab the Advil from my nightstand and knock back two with a gulp of water---that should get me through my first couple of classes. After quickly brushing my teeth and hair, I open my closet and assess my options. I throw the halter top and jean skirt from last night into the back of the closet and decide on some black cargos and a black hoodie. Lastly, I lace up my black Converse and pair the whole outfit with some round black sunglasses.
Clearly, I favor comfort and incongruity.
The day passes by in a blur. Take notes, walk to next class, take Advil, repeat. By the time I get back to my dorm it's five o'clock p.m. and I'm more than ready for a recovery nap.
When I wake up it's almost eight and I'm starting to feel hungry again, so I pull on my Converse again and head to the dining hall. It's not the best food but it's right across from my dorm, and I don't feel like making a long trip. I blast Ctrl by SZA through my AirPods on my short walk from Landis Hall to Suwannee (our dining hall). Today the main courses are cheeseburgers (I don't like cheese) and pork and rice (I don't like pork). Lucky for me, I can always count on the salad bar. I get my usual: lettuce with beans, corn, tomatoes, croutons, and extra cranberries with balsamic vinaigrette on the side.
I like the dining hall because while it may be full of people, everyone minds their business. It gives me a sense of being with others and being alone at the same time. I listen to my music and eat my salad, discreetly rotating my foot to the beat. I'm completely absorbed in the song when I see it.
About three tables and thirty feet away, someone's watching me.
My fork pauses in mid-air. I glance around, and everyone's just minding their business and eating, as usual. Did I imagine it?
No. I turn back and there he is, staring straight at me. He has jet-black floppy hair and he's wearing a green-and-white letterman jacket. Not USC colors. I try to think of if I've ever seen him before, maybe in the halls or in one of my classes, but my mind is blank. This boy is a stranger to me.
Since he's still staring, I raise my eybrows and point at my chest, like, "Me?" He nods and stretches out a finger, beckoning me.
The whole interaction is starting to get a little creepy, so I abandon my salad and book it out of there. I throw away my fork and plate and just when I'm about to exit, take one last backward glance.
He's gone.
I pause. Why would he beckon me if he was just going to leave? I shake it off and step through the tall, wide oaken double doors.
Into the pouring rain.
Actually, it's not that bad. My eyes adjust, and I can see that it's no more than a drizzle. Still, I stash my phone and AirPods in a pocket of my cargos and pull my hood on, tightening the drawstrings.
I sprint through the light downpour. Landis is right across, but I still get pretty wet. As soon as I get home I immediately strip off my damp clothes and shower. Showering might just be my favorite part of the day. The water feels like rain, only it's warm. It's just me and my thoughts and the pitter-patter of warm rain on my body. No tasks. No chores. Just thoughts.
Tonight I think about what my life has come to. From an outsider's perspective it may seem like I have everything: a chance at a college education. A loving family back home. A single dorm (because can you imagine having to live with a roommate?). And I do. I do have all of those things.
But something's missing.
Emery. My best friend. She's gone and she's never coming back. And no matter how many times I get blackout drunk at random frat houses, no matter how many monotonous days go by where I follow the same routine and go through the same motions, nothing's ever going to fix that.
I step out of the shower and blow-dry my hair before changing into my Victoria's Secret pink-and-purple pajama set. I pop some melatonin to help me sleep and close my eyes, sinking into the brief reprieval of oblivion between evening and morning, when I'll have to wake up and face another day.
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