WANDERLUST: Romance in F Minor

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

THE YELLOW LEAVES of the maple tree that Kade could see from his private room's floor-to-ceiling glass window had finally turned red as they slowly fell to the ground. He called it a window, but it actually couldn't be opened for the patient's safety. It's just pure thick glass, and its purpose was to let the patient see the beautiful trees and garden outside bursting with life.

Since he was admitted, he would sit on his bed and watch the maple tree leaves change color day by day. Watching the leaves fall was calming.

"Mr. Black, how are you feeling today?"

Kade's eyes remained on the maple tree as he responded, "I'm okay... I guess."

His doctor continued to ask him a series of questions, and he answered them calmly. But in the eyes of Kade's psychiatrist, Kade was not calm. More... lifeless.

Ever since Kade admitted himself, he didn't act on his suicidal thoughts no matter how bad his panic attacks go. And on the days that he was calm, he would just sit on his bed and watch the maple tree outside.

"How was your sleep last night? Did you dream again?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Did you take the medicine to help you sleep?"

"It didn't work." Kade breathed calmly. "Even after you uped the dosage, it still didn't make me fall asleep."

"We'll try another, stronger, pill for you."

"Hmm."

"Have you been in contact with your family and friends?" the psychiatrist asked. "Their presence might help lighten the heaviness you're feeling. Talk to someone you trust. Slowly open up if you can."

"I don't want to burden anyone."

The psychiatrist took a deep breath. Most of his patients had the same answer. "Mr. Black, you have to talk to someone. You wanted to be discharged in a few weeks' time, but I don't think I can let you go like this. With your condition, being alone is not advisable for you."

"It's okay." Kade's voice was eerily calm—no, it was lifeless. "My mother is picking me up. I'm going to live with her for a while."

"You finally spoke with her?"

Kade didn't  want to, but as he spent his days here in the facility alone, he thought of his mother— (who immediately agreed when he told her he wanted to move in with her for the time being)— and thier conversation when he called her before he admitted himself to the facility. And since he'd be living with his mother until Xanthie's wedding, he decided to be honest with her about his condition.

Come to think of it, I have always been honest with Mom. Even about my sexual preference. And now with my anxiety and depression.

"Yes, I have," he responded as thoughts about his mother crossed his mind. "I told her where I am and why I'm here. Need-to-know basis only, so I would appreciate it if you don't tell her anything more."

To his patient's request, the psychiatrist could only nod. "I understand. I will monitor your condition until your discharge day. Then I will adjust your medication if necessary. And don't forget your therapy session later."

Kade nodded, and the doctor left as Kade continued to watch the maple tree.

Kade honestly didn't want to move. If it was not to his doctor, he did not want to speak. Staying here gradually lessened his attacks, but his mind picked up a habit of shutting down by watching the maple tree leaves fall.