He's a Fanboy?!

He Loves Me

I put my phone down. I stare at the air, at nothing with a blank expression. Actually, everything about me is blank. My expression, my emotions, my mind. My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.

I. Love. You. Why do three words make my entire universe lose control? I feel like my mind is spinning and twisting and I want it to stop but I never want it to stop.

I didn't know it was possible for this much emotion to come out of me not caused by a book of some sort. Something fills me like hot chocolate on a December night, and I feel warm and happy, so happy.

My phone dings again. Cautiously I pick it up, immediately seeing the Wattpad notification: Private message from yesfanboysdoexist.

This will explain everything, I think. This is the moment of truth.

I unlock my phone slowly, tapping each number of my passcode skeptically.

yesfanboysdoexist: DAM IT I AM SO SORRY

yesfanboysdoexist: I MEANT TO SAY "I LOVE IT." IT. IT. IT. AS IN YOUR STORY OK IM SORRY

yesfanboysdoexist: DAM AUTOCORRECT

Oh. Oh.

Brayden Snow is in love with my story, not me. That makes much more sense. Much more.

My heart stops racing, my mind slows down. I breathe normally again.

Of course, why would he be in love with me? He doesn't even like like me. Obviously. And even if Brayden did love me, why would he tell me over wattpad? Suddenly I realize how stupid I'd been and regret my reaction.

Somewhere, brewing inside of me, there is a mixture of relief, regret and a little bit of calmness now.

Unfortunately, the biggest part of this mixture is disappointment.

__________________________

Brayden's late night text still lingers in my mind as lunch hour approaches. It repeats in my mind like a chant: I love you. I love you. I love you. Each word lines up with the beats of my heart and I can't help wishing it was true.

When the bell rings, I walk slowly out of my seat and take more time than usual to put my binders into my locker. I even put in the wrong combination on purpose, even though nobody is watching.

I'm killing time.

I still don't know how to react when I see Brayden. Nonchalant? Cocky?

What would Katniss do? Oh, wait, she'd probably strangle Brayden. I don't think that's the best way to go.

What would Clary do? She'd maybe smirk and play it to her advantage. That's not really me. I'd probably die trying.

What would Tris do? That's not exactly easy to tell, because she'd probably shrug it off and think: I'm struggling to survive, this is the least of my problems.

What would Annabelle Fen do? By the looks of it, I'll probably stumble over my words and blush like an idiot.

Maybe I can just pretend it didn't happen. After all, it didn't really, did it? It was just a typo. I'm overreacting.

I walk into the library with a positive attitude. In the end, Brayden did say he loved my book. And that's fine for now.

"Elle," Brayden addresses me as I walk in. His face lights up like a Christmas tree. "you need to update. Soon."

I laugh, and I think I sound awkward, but I play it off. "I post on Saturdays. Wait, you actually got to the latest chapter? There's, like, thirty chapters."