A New Life

20.

(Santana's POV)

"Grace, you sure you're okay?" I ask my girlfriend as we lay in bed. "Yep, why wouldn't I be?" she says shortly. "Well you know...dinner?" I reply. The rest of dinner was okay, everyone moved on from the pregnant Brittany saga. But Grace barely spoke to me, she engaged with the kids or our friends. "Oh that? Why wouldn't I be okay? My girlfriend didn't think it was important enough to tell me when she found out, but then starts talking to me about having a baby, coincidently. So why should I care?" If the Oxford dictionary every wanted to update their definition of passive aggressive; this situation right now would be it. "Can we just talk please?" I ask. But Grace doesn't respond to me, she carries on reading her book. "Grace..." I prompt her again, but nothing. I take the book out of her hands and put it on my bedside table. "Grace, please?" I almost beg. "Why, there is nothing to say." Grace says leaning over and turning off her bedside lamp, she turns away from me and lays down.

I lean over her and turn the lamp back on. "You're acting like Sofia right now when she can't get her own way. So we are going to talk about this." Grace instantly sits back up. "Are we now?" she says folding her arms, glaring at me. "Yes we are." I say back, folding my arms too. "I wasn't keeping it from you on purpose." I say starting off the conversation. "So you do admit you were keeping it from me?" Grace intrudes. "Well yeah kinda I guess, but not in the way it might possibly look like." I say trying to defend myself. "Well in what way then San? Because at dinner I felt like everyone knew this big news but me and from where I was sat it looked like you were doing everything you could to change the subject and keep it from me. I just don't understand why?" I bow my head in shame, as there was only one real reason as to why I was keeping it from Grace for as long as I could. "Oh my god..." I can tell by the tone of her voice that she has clicked on. "The other night, before we had sex..you said about us having a baby! That's because of this isn't it, because you found out Brittany is pregnant!"

I remain looking down into my lap. "Jesus fucking christ" Grace throws the covers off her and goes to storm out of bed, but I take a hold of her arm and stop her. "Grace...please, just let me talk." I plead with her, her eyes burn into the spot where I have a hold on her arm, I release her as she reluctantly gets back into bed. "Fine" she says, crossing her arms across her chest, clearly wanting to be anywhere but here. "Yes, Brittany is pregnant and I don't know...it just triggered something in me. I knew we would both move on, start new families. I guess I just never thought it would happen this quickly. And I am jealous, jealous that it wasn't me first. She ruined our marriage, she broke us, yet she is the one who gets to move on first?" I try and keep my tears at bay, I am not looking for sympathy from Grace, but I know even if I was, I am not going to get any.

"It's not a competition Santana, this is real life." Grace scolds me. "I know and I am so sorry that I didn't tell you right away, I guess I just didn't know if you'd care or how you would take it. Then obviously I was stupid to say to you about having a baby, do I want one with you? Of course I do, but the timing and circumstances in which I said it was disrespectful, I was stupid, inconsiderate.." Grace places her hand on my leg to stop me talking. "You do want a baby with me?" she says looking surprised. "...well..I-it would be amaz-yes. Yes I do." I say, a smile slowly growing on my face as I see Grace beginning to smile too. "Are you just saying that...or do you mean it?" Grace asks me, looking for easement on my statement. "I do mean it, I really do" Grace lunges forward, her tongue finding mine instantly in a moment of passion. "Just promise me one thing Santana?" she says looking deep into my eyes. "What?"

"Don't keep anything from me again okay? We are better than that." Grace soothingly rubs my cheeks, awaiting my answer. "I promise. I really am sorry for not telling you." I say sincerely. "For now, let's just enjoy Christmas." Grace says as she turns out the lights and cuddles into me.