Hisoka works at McDonald's

Chapter 1: The job interview

Comment. On. The. Picture. Above.

Usually I'd threaten you to take care of yourself. But, seeing how you're reading this when I fucking told you not to, I've decided that you don't deserve to be threatened by me. I'll go threaten people who actually care, thank you very much.

You're still not leaving... fine, whatever, on with this dumbass story

———

If you told Hisoka that he deserved to die, he would most certainly agree. However, if you told him that he deserved to work at McDonald's for the rest of eternity, he would disagree. Nobody deserves that.

Hisoka is now one-hundred, if not more, percent sure that McDonald's is actually hell.

Let's go back to the beginning so we can fully enjoy watching him suffer.

Or reading in the beautiful reader's case;)

But, back to the day where it all started. The day Hisoka lost a simple bet. And was forced to work at McDonald's for a week.

—The interview you never thought you needed! Ronald McDonald himself at a job interview to work at McDonald's!—

Hisoka, being a Hunter, fighter at Heavens Arena, and mass murderer, believed that working at McDonald's was below him. And yet, here he was, waiting for a interview.

He didn't know which was worse. Passing the interview and having to work here for a week, or failing having to tell the troupe he couldn't even get a job at McDonald's.

"Hisoka Morow, it's time for your interview."

Great, time for him to pretend he knows what he's doing. He's done it countless times before. Nothing too difficult.

(And it's time for the author to pretend they know what they're doing because they've never been to a job interview. Joy.

[edit the author wrote that a year ago and now has been to multiple job interviews. They still won't change anything they wrote])

"Hisoka Morow, correct?" The interviewer asked.

"Correct~"

"Great, take a seat."

And then interview began. Can't be harder then the Hunter exam, right? Oh well, if it goes wrong he'll just kill the guy.

"Why do you want to work here at our fine establishment?" Seeing how he's seen eight mice already, and he's only been in this room for about a minute, 'fine' is most definitely an over exaggeration.

"If I'm being honest, money~"

Lie, it because his "friends" want to publicly humiliate him.

"That does tend to be the reason most people get a job after all~"

Hisoka had no idea why people got jobs, but they certainly didn't seem fun, so money was the best guess.

He thinks jobs pay people, at least.

"Of course." The interviewer chuckled "Do you have any other job experience?"

"Nothing official~ I do deal with kids often though~"

True, If you're counting harassing Gon and Killua as dealing with kids of course.

"Great. Welcome to the team. You'll start tomorrow."

Wut?

It's not ..harder? Two questions and that's it?

"Of course, you'll have to sign this first. After it's signed you'll officially have a job, strange clown man."

If he wasn't trying to get a job here he'd probably kill the man, or disable him for life at least.

But Hisoka isn't an idiot, far from it. He'll keep his mouth shut and kill him once he's done with his week of working at McDonald's.

He also reads everything before he signs. Not that the laws matter to him, of course. The rules that came with the job was interesting to say the least.

1. If a customer complains about our fine establishment being dirty, offer them free food and drug it. They'll think they're having an off day and that they imagined it.

2. The food at our fine establishment is most likely poisoned, we care about our employees safety so we advise you to not, under any circumstances eat our food

3. If someone is to pass out or die while in our fine establishment, you will be expected to help cover up the murder.

4. You must wash your hands frequently. We care about the safety of our customers, and making the food anymore contaminated then it already us will result in a lot more deaths.

5. If anyone annoys you, feel free to poison them! We keep plenty of poison at our fine establishment, and as long as you cover up the death you'll be fine!

Thanks for working at McDonald's! Good luck! Try not to die too soon!

Very interesting indeed.

Word count: 829

Fun Facts:

• I'm sure that's pretty close to what an actual interview would be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if you haven't been to a job interview before, well now you know what it's like! You're welcome!

• Please, for everyone's sanity, please stop reading this. It's only going to get worse from here. Please-

• Do I have any ideas for this book? Absolutely not! But I like to procrastinate writing my other story so I might as well write this one so I feel productive!