Hisoka works at McDonald's

Chapter 4: The third day

Leave.

(Please?)

Hisoka found himself concerningly excited to go to work.

This wasn't for any one reason in particular, more so that he finds his new coworkers to be intriguing.

And that the working conditions are hard for even him to survive in. Even with his immunity to poison—he prepared for when he eventually marries Illumi—he doubts he could survive eating that food.

Walking into the building at 6am, he has to use bungee gum to propel himself onto the roof. Handing upside down, his head hovering a few feet off the ground as he watches the mice run past.

"Ohhh," Nobunaga, who was following Hisoka in along with a few other members, said "so that's what the mice thing is."

"Ah, don't get deterred~" Hisoka purred, letting the bungee gum suspending him into the air disappear, turning mid-air for his feet to hit the ground instead of his head, "They're just a minor threat~"

"Hisoka!" The teenager poked her head out of the kitchen, uncaring as she interrupted his conversation, "Get to work, I need you."

"You need me?~" Hisoka smirked, appearing in front of her within an instant.

"We both know I didn't mean it like that." She rolled her eyes, before adding, "But, also yes, I need you in that sense."

To anyone, including the troupe, who didn't know about their inside joke of fake-flirting with each other, this would make Hisoka seem like a pedophile.

To the troupe in particular, already knowing him and his sexual behavior lack of shame, they didn't put it above him. Their faces twisting into ones of judgement and disgust.

"Mm~ is that so?~" Hisoka stepped closer, leaning down so he was closer to her face, making sure his voice was just loud enough for the troupe to hear, "What a good girl~"

The author had considered making the flirting more casual, and not extreme. Seeing how that is a child he's fake-flirting with. But then they remembered that they didn't want you reading this anyways, so they don't care.

The narrator does really want you to read this though, they love watching your reactions..

(Sorry not sorry)

The teenager just grabbed his wrist, dragging him into the kitchen, and then into the break room. Disappearing out of sight from the troupe, much to their concern.

In reality, the only thing they were doing was taking an unscheduled break, and letting the Troupe get more and more horrified.

People's reactions were half the fun, after all.

Inside the break room, was Humeown Purrson, who was scribbling on the white board like a madman.

As he(?) is definitely a man, and not anything else.

From what Hisoka caught a glimpse of, it was a detailed theory diving into the Hunters, getting dangerously close to figuring out Nen.

Unfortunately, Hisoka couldn't drop any hints before the manager strolled in, ordering them to get back to work.

Hisoka learned he had a kink about being ordered around. He had thought it was just a Chrollo thing, but apparently it's with everyone.

—

Halfway into the day, the only troupe minders still here being Phinks, Shizuku, Shalnark, and Nobunaga. The four were playing a card game, go fish if Hisoka remembered correctly.

It was just then that the police barged in, kicking the glass door open and quickly filing in. One of them yelling "Everyone hands in the air! We have a warrant out for-"

They didn't get the chance to finish before the escaped convict was yelling "Scatter!"

Then a bunch of things happened at the exact same time.

A bunch of cats swarmed out of the trench coat, leaving the outfit abandoned as they ran for it.

The teenager flipped the police officers off, before doing a two-finger salute as collapsed backwards onto the floor. The mice swarming and carrying the girl away.

The escaped convict dived for the nearest secret tunnel, which they had dug with a plastic spoon.

Hisoka just disappeared, a poof of rainbow glitter being left behind.

The drug addict offered the police some drugs.

The manager poked his head out of the office, before trying to deescalate the situation, promising to find his employees.

He didn't have much luck, the nearest police officer roughly grabbing him. Slamming him down against the ordering counter, pinning his arms behind his back and handcuffing him in one swift motion.

The teenager and Hisoka, who were now off to the side watching this go down, shared a glance. The teenage girl just grinning and saying "Me and you when?"

"I'd pin you down and tie you up any day, my love~"

"What the fuck you two," Shalnark said, narrowing his eyes as he looked the both of them up and down in a disgusted, judging manner.

As the manager, who had committed the least amount of murders out of everyone here, was dragged away by the cops, Hisoka chose to promote himself to manager.

The teenager made sure to flirt with him even harder after that. Pretending to be after a raise, and willing to do anything to get it.

The phantom troupe just got more disturbed by the second. Leaning the McDonald's soon after, and gossiping about everything that happened once they got back to the base.

Chrollo wasn't mad when Hisoka got back, just disappointed.

Word count: 1025

Fun Facts:

• It's 2:30 am on a Wednesday, and I literally start my new job this Saturday😗 like I'm speed running writing this so I can try to
1: Write all seven days, and then a bonus chapter (5 more chapters after this one) which requires me to be up in between 2-4 am
And 2: still have time remaining to fix my sleep schedule before Saturday, (not gonna happen lollolol.)

• Lmao this is so bad it's funny. I love not having to care about anything like cringeyness and spelling stuff anymore. Reminds of when I was writing Wrong Number

• I planned out ideas like a year ago, it's so weird cuz I've been waiting a year to use them, but never ended up fucking up my sleep schedule to do so