Help Me Out? (Seongjoong)

~31~

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Fuck

I stood in the bathroom, complete silence over me. Seonghwa had stormed off to hell knows where. And here I was, regretting everything I said to him.

And I couldn't take it back now.

I was in Jisung's hotel room so quickly after leaving the bar, he'd been waiting for me outside the bathroom door.

He drug me over to the neatly made bed. Lifting my shirt over my head, his shirt coming over his in seconds.

He crashed his lips into mine, straddling my lap, grinding his hips into mine. His teeth tugged at my bottom lip, willing me to open my mouth. His saliva tasted like cigarettes, it was familiar, but not comforting like it used to be.

He moved down my neck sucking and nipping at the skin. Sure to leave marks later. I tangled my hand in his silky black hair, lightly grasping at it each time he bit me though it wasn't as pleasurable as it did months ago.

He hopped off my lap, dropping to his knees, reaching up to undo my belt. I didn't feel the same excitement as I once did. A small voice in my mind telling me to tell him to stop.

I heard my pants be unzipped.
"Jisung."
I said firmly. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Hongjoong?"
He said back to me, looking up.

"Can we talk?"
I asked, tapping the bed.
"Can I~ give you a blow job first."
He laughed, still rested on the floor.
"Come here."
I said, brushing my hand through his hair.

He complied, sitting on the bed, tucking his legs up underneath him. Heavily sighing.
"This is about that boy, huh?"
He said.
"I can't stop thinking about him."
I reply.
"It shows."
He laughed.
"Why? What about him, Hongjoong?"
He asked, resting his hand over mine.

I thought over my words carefully. I didn't know exactly why. What was is about him?
"I- I'm not sure."
I responded.
"He's just, perfect."
Jisung let out a huff.
"I just don't understand. What is it about him that isn't in me?"
He asked.

I paused. I knew what was about to come out of my mouth would annoy him.
"He listens. Listens a lot better then you did. Then you do. He's not my friend because of what I do for him. And he was sure the hell right when he said I deserve better. I do. And so do you,"
I paused, looking over Jisung's cute round face.
"You deserve someone to give you what you need from someone."
I said.
Jisung hummed.

There was a long silence between us.
"Hongjoong,"
Jisung started.
"Why aren't you with him now, then?"
He asked.
"Because I fucked it up."
I sadly laughed.
"Don't you always?"
That one stung. But he wasn't wrong. I nodded my head.
"Get out."
He said, pointing at the door. An everlasting annoyance still rested in his voice. The annoyance that had been there the whole night.

I stood, pulling my shirt back over my head, and quickly making my way to the door. This time leaving Jisung, I wasn't filled with regret.

I walked back to my apartment, regretting not wearing warmer clothes. My thin jacket not doing much to protect my from the harsh chill of late October. This has been a far colder autumn then normal, flurries of snow fell from the sky.

I wish I would've at least brought gloves.

I hurried up the wooden staircase, eager to get back into the warm interior of my apartment.

I was greeted with a common sight of Yeosang and Wooyoung, cuddled together on the couch, a soft white blanket covering them together. Pretty in Pink playing on the TV in front of them.

"How was your night?"
Yeosang asked softly, pausing the movie.
"Fine, I guess."
I responded, dropping my bag off my shoulder to where my keys clattered against the wood.
"Mm, you sure? You seem... Sad?"
Yeosang said lightly pushing Wooyoung away so he could stand.
"You want tea?"
He offered,
"You look cold."
He said walking off to the small kitchen.
"No thanks."
Yeosang hummed a reply.

I began walking back to by room.

"Y'know, Seonghwa stopped by here earlier."
Yeosang's soft voice rang out.
"For what?"
I asked, coming around the corner into the kitchen.
"He was just asking where you were."

"And you said?"

"'I'm not sure' because I wasn't positive where you had gone off to."
Yeosang turned to me,
"He didn't say anything else. He just thanked me and left."

"So, he wanted to talk to me?"

"I'm assuming. I don't know. He left before I could even invite him in."
Yeosang said pouring the boiling water into two mugs, handing one to Wooyoung standing at his side, brushing his hand through Yeosang's fluffy, damaged blonde hair.

"Why? Weren't you two together tonight?"
He asked, walking to return to his spot on the couch. Wooyoung and I followed.
"Kinda. We had an argument, actually."
I said.
"About?"
Wooyoung before Yeosang could get any words out.
"He was trying to tell me my relationship was unhealthy."

"Is it?"
Wooyoung asked.
"A little, yeah."

"And? What did you say to him?"
Yeosang questioned.
"I told him I didn't care about him."
I cringed at the memory of his eyes filling with tears.
"You did what?"
They asked in unison. Eyes wide.
"I know. I made a mistake."

"Ya'think?"
Wooyoung practically yelled.
"I'm gonna talk to him. I just have to figure out when."

"Soon."
Yeosang quickly said.

"Yeah. I will."