Help Me Out? (Seongjoong)

~33~

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I sat on the cold floor of the library. My back against a shelf. The exact place I was just days ago with Seonghwa.

The words on the pages of the book resting in my lap blurred together. I read the same page tens of twentys of times at this point.

I couldn't stop thinking of him. How badly I must've hurt him. How I prayed he could forgive me.

"Hongjoong."
A quiet, familiar voice said to my right. Seonghwa. I glanced up at him, he was dressed in a red suit, and dress shoes. His hair was wildly tousled, and he was breathing heavily. He looked lovely nonetheless though.

I was speechless. I didn't know how to talk to him. What to say to him.

"Did you mean what you said in the bathroom?"
He asked. I shook my head.
"I want an audible answer, Hongjoong. Did you mean even one fraction of what you said to me?"
He prompted again.
"No,"
I got up off the floor, to meet somewhat more of his level.
"Not one word."

He took a step closer to me.

"Did you ever think we would date?"
He asked.
"Have you ever had thoughts of me outside of a friendship?"
My heart sank, beating so hard and fast I was sure he could hear it in the dead silence of the library.

"Well- I- you're with Chanhee, and-"

"My question, Hongjoong."

"Well, I mean. Yeah. Yes. I've thought about you. A lot. In different scenarios. But that doesn't matter much n-"

Seonghwa suddenly grabbed my shoulders, shoving me against the shelf.
"Can I kiss you?"
I was silent a moment. Just taking in his appearance. His face so close to mine.
"Yes."
I breathed. Just loud enough for him to hear.

He immediately pressed his lips against mine, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. His lips tasted of his flavored lipgloss, whatever fruit like flavor that was. He tasted sweet.

He wasn't experienced, but it felt amazing. It was almost addicting. I could see myself kissing him every day and never being bored.

He broke away, staying close still.
"I liked that."
He said. Before pushing himself into me again. Our bodies flush against each other, pressing out lips together, this time, I gently bit at his lip, waiting for him to open his mouth, t0o which he quickly complied. I slipped my tongue in his mouth, rewarded with a pretty muffled noise surprise.

I pulled away. Looking at him, he looked beautiful. Even in the incredibly dim lighting.

"Tell me about those other situations you've been thinking of, hmm?"
He asked, a devious smile on his pretty features.
"Later."
I replied. His arms dropped to his sides before he sunck to the floor, I quickly fallowed his movements.

He grabbed my legs, parting them to sit in between them. Resting his back against my chest, reaching to grab my wrists, positioning my arms to reast over his shoulders.

I didn't mind at all. The position was exactly what I wanted. It was comfortable, and safe feeling. He was safe feeling.

I loved it.

I loved him.

I looked down at our hands in silence. He spun a particular ring on my middle finger. Playing with the silver jewelry.
"Where did you get it?"
He asked, tilting his head to the side and up to look at me, the back of his head resting on my shoulder. I thought a moment, trying to recall where exactly I purchased the ring.
"A thrift store back home."
I responded. He looked back down just for a second.
"It's pretty."
His gaze fell back onto.
"It matches you."

The comment made my heart flutter. It moved so fast. Moments ago, I was crying over an open book, and now, I have Park Seonghwa rested against me.

I was happy.
Content with where this year; this college, has gotten me.

"Hey Hongjoong,"
Seonghwa finally spoke after a moment of long silence.
"You never told me what that last step was?"
He asked. Shifting to face me. I leaned forward, rustling his already wind disheveled hair.
"Admit. Tell them how you feel."
I replied.
"Well?"
He said.

"I feel, completely in love. Completely in love with someone named Park Seonghwa."
I let my hand drop, cupping his face, he pressed against my touch.
"And you?"
I asked.
"I feel like I'm in love with Kim Hongjoong."

"I love you, Kim Hongjoong. That I can say with confidence."

I studied his facial expression the best I could. It was soft. No tension held in the muscles.

"I love you too."
I said.

I finally said those four words.

Four words, and I meant it my entire heart and soul.

Four words I would say again, and again.

I love you too

~END~

A/N
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