Rumors

Chapter 21

Emily

1 Month Later

I thought the pain would be better by now. That I wouldn't come home to my tiny studio and wallow in it as much. It isn't getting better though. I feel like my soul is being crushed by the weight of not talking to him. I can't even think his name without feeling like I'm drowning.

At work, I can focus. I can get things done. But once I'm alone again, with no tasks, there's nothing to stop me from diving into the abyss of depression.

I have to find a way to be happy. Without him. I have to be my own person, not a person who is stuck on loving someone they can't have.

Jake

I'm back to my regularly scheduled seclusion. It's like falling back in time, to a year ago. All I do is work.

Things are changing though. Every day gets easier because it's a day closer to closing my deal. A day closer to being closer to her. The morning she left, I knew what I needed to do. This isn't about getting the girl. This is about me. I know I need to find my own happiness and it's not here. Not in the town where there are too many memories and too much pain. I have to find the happiness and then chase it with her. She needs to find herself too.

Every night I stare at her contact on my phone, wanting to call. I reread through our messages, remember the feelings she could elicit with just a few words typed out. She isn't my only source of happiness. She magnifies it. She takes the bliss I have and makes it grow.

I won't let her be the one who got away.

Emily

3 Months After Leaving

I've finally settled into my new life. I go riding every weekend with a group of women who I met at a local biker bar. They've quickly taken me under their wings, showing me the best places to ride, where the best rest stops are for long trips.

Between work and my new friends, I've found my bliss again. I've started to enjoy my life again. I look back at this last summer and it's become bittersweet to me. I miss him. Jake. But the pain has lessened. It's not gone by any means but it's dulled. I hope he's doing alright. All the time, I think about calling to check on him.

I call Dad once a week and he never mentions him. I want to ask but there's a part of me that wonders if he's moved on and I don't want to know if he has. I don't want Dad to have to tell me that Jake has found someone who makes him happy.

Jake

I watch her leaving her apartment and mounting her bike. After some convincing, her Dad finally coughed up her address. I had planned on showing up to surprise her but now that I'm here...it feels wrong. Like I'm invading into her life when I don't belong. I shouldn't have come. This was stupid. A group of 3 bikers pull up behind her and I watch them lift their visors and talk. She looks so beautiful. So happy.

My heart swells as I watch her. She's found herself again.

I don't want to ruin that for her.

What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she's moved on? LA is a big city and Em is a beautiful woman. I'm confident she's been asked out already. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to claim her. She's mine. But she isn't. She isn't mine.

I'm being a creep. I turn and walk back to my truck, slamming the door shut. I hear the bikes rumble away and mentally curse myself. This was stupid. I shouldn't have been kidding myself into thinking that moving out here was a good idea. I turn over the engine and drive. It's too late now. I'm already here.

Emily

6 Months After Leaving

With spring just around the corner, I need to get a tune up done on my bike. I'm anticipating a lot of riding in the next few months and I need my beauty to keep running like a dream. I've had her looked at and her oil changed a few times already so I head for my usual shop. They know me pretty well by now because of the group I ride with. I was sent here by their recommendation.

I call ahead and schedule an appointment, Eli, my usual service guy, answers and tells me to roll in around 2. I plan my day around it. I put in some time off at work, telling them I'll be leaving around 1. Now that I'm decently established, leaving early on a random Tuesday isn't a problem. I'll make up for it tomorrow anyway. I dip out and start my ride out. I love the weather here. It's always warm. Some days it feels too warm but nothing like the Texas heat. As small town hick as I've been my whole life, living in LA has been a dream. There are so many people from different backgrounds here that fitting in isn't really an issue.

I pull up into the lot of the shop. It's a great place. Clean and friendly. It reminds me of Jake's shop but three times the size. Eli sees me and waves me through, pointing to the bay he wants me in. He always has me pull in myself. He's not a fan of riding, he's seen the aftermath of wrecks too often in his career to find the draw to it. I pull in, engine still rumbling. Eli is talking to another mechanic while I wait, helmet still on.

"Hey!" someone yells. "You can't just pull into a bay because you feel like it!"

The voice is familiar but I can barely hear it over my bike. I realize he's talking to me and let the engine fall silent, turning to the voice. The guy has a torch in his hand and a welding hood over his face. I pull the strap of my helmet off and wrench it from my face.

"You got a problem buddy?" I yell back, shoving my helmet onto the bar and throwing down the kick stand. I fucking hate when men think they can boss me around. I was doing what Eli asked me to do. Like always. The man stills, dropping his torch. It goes out as he lets go. I cross my arms and glare at him, waiting for him to tell me what his issue is. Eli comes running up, seeing me in a stand off.

"Sorry Emily!" He says, "That's our new owner. He didn't know I don't ride. I should've told him. Or walked it in."

"It's fine. I didn't know you guys got bought out. Sorry your new boss is a dick." I roll my eyes and swing my leg over. I hand over my keys to Eli. The man is still looking at me, his hood down. I glare at him again. "What?" I demand, standing tall.

He slowly lifts the hood up and my entire body feels a jolt. The most familiar face, the one I've been craving, needing and trying to put out of my head stares back at me. He's let his beard grow out a little but keeps it groomed. Fuck does it look sexy as hell. Just enough there to run my hands through.

Stop it! I tell myself. I search for something to say but the shock has me taken over completely. My mouth won't work. My brain is in a full panic.

"Jake..." I manage to choke out.

"You know him?" Eli asks, staring at me. I can't even turn to look at Eli to give him an answer. I only have eyes for the giant standing in just as much shock as I'm currently in. I swallow hard, not able to look away from Jake's eyes.

"Emily." He says, his voice calm and buttery sweet to my ears. Oh how I've craved it. The sound of my name from his lips.