Rumors

Chapter 13

Emily

I wake up in the middle of the night to my cheek against Jake's bare chest, my leg tangled with his. I prop up and look at his peaceful expression. He looks so young, so untroubled in his sleep. I don't want to disturb him but I have got to go to the bathroom. I slowly move away, getting up. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, taking in the sight of my mussed hair, the love marks from Jake's nips along my neck that will disappear before the day is done. I think about last night, how hard I came for him under his touch. The way we fit together like our bodies were made to be together.

I can't help this slippery slope we're running down. I know I'll fall for him hard. For the strong, wild man he is. I love the way he looks at me. I love how my own body responds to his touch. I know this is dangerous territory we're entering. I didn't anticipate that I would feel this way so quickly. I've never had to worry about emotional entanglements before. I've never felt them. I've always been able to draw that line with myself. But the line is a tangled web with Jake and I'm terrified I won't recover. I'm terrified I won't be able to leave him. 3 months is not enough.

I shake the feeling off and resign myself to just enjoy it while it lasts. I don't need to ruin a good thing before I have to. I wash my hands and run my wet hands through my hair, taming the wildness of it. I open the bathroom door and hear Jake stirring.

"Em?" He asks and I round the corner.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I tell him, crawling over his body to settle next to him.

"You didn't." He whispers, pulling my chin up to kiss me. I melt into his touch. His hand roams down to between my thighs. He's already hard against my hip. "Are you sore?" He asks, "I wasn't exactly gentle with you last night."

"A little." I admit sheepishly but I open my thighs for him anyway.

"Can I make love to you Emily? I promise to be gentle." He asks and my heart aches at his words. I pull his lips to mine in answer. We're a whisper of sighs and moans when we fall together into a languid rhythm. This time feels different. I feel like he's worshiping me, taking in every piece of me. I'm a mess of emotions as Jake makes love to me, in the dark of the hotel room. It's easy to look past the emotions when lust is the main one you're feeling. But this isn't about chasing bliss. This is about how we feel about each other. I can feel his reverence for me with every touch, every movement. I pour my adoration for him into every kiss, every touch of my hands through his hair, across his back.

The look he gives me when he comes, slow and steady, is one of kindling turning to a roaring fire and I'm choked by the grip of how I feel in the moment. I knew sex could be an emotional thing, but I'd never had that before. The feeling that overtakes me when he slows with the whisper of my name on his lips is one I can't describe but it's bittersweet. I trace the lines of his lips while he rolls us to our sides and he feels down the line of my spine. We just stare at each other, barely enough light in the room to see properly and I hold back all the things I want to say.

Jake had described his previous relationships as fleeting, fueled by desire and overwhelming emotion in the moment but fizzling out after a while. I'm not in the business of setting myself up to be hurt. I build an invisible wall around my heart, creating a box to keep my secret feelings for him and hopefully, it holds.

Jake

I resist making love to her again in the morning. Slipping out of bed and getting dressed before she wakes. I even stop myself from kissing her cheek before heading out the door, just to be sure I don't wake her. I run for bagels and coffee, returning to her still asleep. I sit on the edge of the bed and she stirs. She blinks up at me, squinting. "Hey..." She says groggily.