Miss America

Chapter 8

      I see a cigarette Daisy left here and the idea to go on the roof and smoke it came to me. This is my second one today, which is slightly concerning.

A night like tonight I miss my ex boyfriend. I don't miss the shitty person himself, but the memories. Im miss the intimacy. I miss feeling close to a person and showing vulnerability while expressing my sexuality.

I light it up with my zippo lighter my Dad bought for me at a Harley Davidson Motorcycles store. I put my wired headphones in and play a calming playlist.

Taking in the cold nights dark sky I stare up at the stars. The moon was shaped into a crescent and if I look at it long enough I can see the craters if I look at it hard enough.

I lie down on my back and stare up into the stars. I bring the cigarette back to my lips and inhale the smoke. I blow out the smoke, while the nicotine gives my head a rush.

The cold beer bottle I grabbed is making my fingers freeze, so I take a drink and put it down besides me.

I sit up and read a new text message from my phone;

Grayson: hey idiot smokings bad for you

Graysons text surprises me a little bit making me sit up. Nevertheless, I smile at the text and I look at his windows but I don't see him in his room through them.

I would be lying if I said I haven't peaked into his bedroom every once in a while out of curiosity.

I'm startled when he sneaks up behind me on the roof.

"How did you get up here?" I ask him while laying back down and taking out one of my earbuds.

"It wasn't that hard I just climbed up that tree." He takes the cigarette from my mouth and takes a drag of it, and lays down right next to me. He laid down so close our arms were touching. His voice is deep and sounds a little raspy; I can smell the alcohol that was coming off of the both of us.

"Your lip looks like it's doing better." He turns his head towards me, I do the same looking into his eyes.

His hand gently grabs the minor abrasion on my lip and starts rubbing his thumb across it.

The butterflies in my stomach fly around when we're both on our sides looking at eachother.

Our faces were close yet so far it felt like.

"Yeah I got bruises all on me now though. How's your leg?" I reply, as he moves his hand from my lip to my cheek. His thumb moves up and down my cheek. He rubs it slowly over and over.

"It's fine just some scratches, I think we're going to have a good season this year." He says.

I swear for a split second his eyes flash towards my lips and he smirks a little bit.

"Yeah? That's awfully optimistic." I speak almost in a whisper.

"What're you listening too?" He grabs the other earbud and places it in his left ear.

From my right ear, I hear a Chase Atlantic song called 'Into It' hums through my head.

There we were, laying on the roof, on our sides facing one another sharing a cigarette and earbuds. His hand made my cheek feel hot, I'm probably blushing right now.

Without warning he leans in to kiss me and I accept it once again. It's like he read my mind that I was craving this intimacy with someone.

His arm slides under my neck pulling me closer to him, giving him easier access to my lips. My head rests on his bicep now.