They say the first step to enlightenment is the encounter with the shadow. I've been clean for a month now. I think it is difficult to get closer to my demons at this point. I'm irritated as fuck. Cannot quit booze tho. One thing at a time.
My whole body is hitching. It starts to burn. It feels like I am in a desert. The dunes are getting wider and the sand is dry. Suddenly a red sun is setting. Everything is now enjoyable. Confortable even. The blood start to come out of the sand. Have I been scratching my skin this whole time ?
I know in this situations that a shower might ease the pain. I take one. Then a second. And the third right after.
I grab a towel and jump on the couch.
« But where should I even start ?
Huh...
Oh ! I know !
The brighter the light - the deeper the shadow !"
As I light my cigarette I sip off the drink next to me. I puff the smoke out and with disgust realise a bit late - warm whisky.
Spit the mixture in a split second.
Laying heads down the smoke and liquid as it fell down drew a smile on my face.
« Clouds in an hot raining 'sky » I smirk.
I take a look around to see if someone got the joke.
« Oh yes that's right. Nobody is there. Nobody except you mister cat. »
I stop for a moment.
« Did you get the pun ? »
It looks at me with is big wide eyes and unpredictability.
I lost myself in there for a few moment.
When I came back to me it was gone.
« How does it always disappear like that ? »
I stop again.
"But you are here too. Here but inexistent. How paradoxal don't you think?"
