Songbird- Harry Styles

four

Chapter 4

I am supposed to start writing with Harry in three days. However, I'm not sure what is going to go down, because in the five days since the meeting, I have not talked to him once. I wanted to initially go over what kind of sound he was going for, lyricism, and overall vibe. And yet, nothing. I had his contact information and he had mine. I even texted him to check up. Nada.

I decide to ignore it for now and sit down at my piano. It's been a while. I haven't necessarily stopped writing completely, I just haven't been giving my work to people. Even after what happened, I still found that I needed to write for my own sanity.

Writing for other people is always interesting, you have to get really good at handling rejection and criticism. There have been countless times when I have submitted a song to someone and it was absolutely ripped to shreds, or just ignored altogether.

There is a pool people can go to and choose from when they want to buy the rights to songs that someone else wrote, and it works almost kind of like a lottery. I wrote a song a few years ago called "Baby Honey", and it got tossed into the pool. I know there is a demo of it somewhere, but I don't know who picked it up and nothing came of it. As far as I know, people hated it.

I am not even sure how Harry found me, because I know that he has a team of people who would love to chase after someone much more seasoned than I am. I also know he already has a tight-knit group of people he writes with (I did some research in my free time), so why he would bring someone else into the mix, I can't figure out.

I have a notebook of finished songs, but I have a lot of one-liners and parts of songs (that have yet to be finished) in my notes app on my phone. It's easier than always carrying paper around, if something pops into my head I can just put it in a note. I flip through and try to find something to work on that way I have a few things to throw into the mix or at least experiment with when the time comes.

I sit down at the keys and brush off some of the dust, flipping through my notes app, and finding one that I felt like had potential. It had no title, just a few words, but it caught my attention.

"Black and white film, camera, yellow sunglasses

Ashtray, swimming pool, hot wax, jump off the roof"

It's a collection of words that seemingly made no sense, and I knew that they probably had a purpose when I wrote them down, but now I can't remember.

I continue on for a few before I am interrupted by a phone call. I look down to check, hoping it would be Harry so I can get the ball rolling on some ideas. It wasn't. It was Charlie. I decline. Not that I was really doing anything important, I just didn't feel like talking.

She calls again. I roll my eyes, but this time I answer.

"Hey, Char, what's up?" I ask 

"Hey babe, just wanted to check in on you after the meeting the other day. You slipped out before I left the room and I could tell you were bothered" she says kindly.

I met Charlie when I was 18. She is a few years older than me, me being 23 now and her being in her late 30s. I was teaching a songwriting course at the youth program I volunteer at near my house. She used to be a talent agent and worked with some pretty interesting people as she worked her way up the ladder. She left the industry when she got pregnant with her daughter,  Ruby, around the same time her ex-fiance left her.  I just had moved out of my house and really had no one around when she started also volunteering. I think that she had motherly intuition and sensed that I was on my own. Her being a pregnant, soon-to-be single mom, and me, who was motherless, we were a dynamic duo.  I think we found each other at the perfect time. She understood the struggle of being young in the business and but she was also like a breath of fresh air. She started working with me when I was working independently, not wanting to sign with a label. Ruby is five now, and Charlie has taken on a bigger role in my career. I had no intention of ever wanting to be a performer myself, so I kind of made it easy on her. I like minding my own not having my every move watched all of the time. This new deal I signed slightly threatened that privacy, and I think she sensed I was uneasy, not to mention seeing my father for the first time in a few years.