Fading Away

Chapter Seven

 Mwahaha deceptively calm...

Months pass by like a breeze on a pleasant summer day. I enjoy the routine of our life. My days are spent outdoors, usually with Eternity or Hope. Our lives are fairly uneventful, and I don't mind at all. Secrets spends most of her time indoors, often in her room with her door shut. She does much of the housework, like tiding up. Wonders and Hope do most of the cooking.

I actually find myself forgetting about the outside, or forgetting that there even is a world outside our clearing where we live and laugh, and the area of forest around it, where we wander and race and watch animals.

I fall more deeply in love with Eternity. We spend evenings in the treetops, watching the sun go down. We stay up late making wishes on stars twinkling in the dark sky. We race, we laugh, we live. And on one warm autumn evening he tells me that though he won't use his power to foresee the longevity of our love, he will do all he can to make it last forever.

I'm finally finding happiness.

It's been five years since I came home.

An ordinary day becomes far less ordinary.

Wonders rushes outside, where I walk about in the rain with Eternity. "Dreams! Come in, quick!" His voice is filled with fear.

Alarmed, I hurry after him.

"Eternity and Hope, stay out here," Wonders orders. He leads me to Secrets' room and I see her in her horrifying condition. Her screams are like that of one going through some terrible torture. She writhes in her bed, gripping the blankets and tearing at the mattress with incredible strength. Her eyes are wide open but its clear she's not seeing the ceiling. They dart around wildly, their pupils dilated in her terror.

"She's dreaming. I need you to use your powers."

I'm terrified. "I can't do that!" I shriek.

"Yes you can!" he shouts back. "I know you can do this. We need you. We can't lose her. She knows too much..." He gazes down at her with something other than simple concern. It's a look reserved for someone more than a friend.

Now I understand. "I'll do it!"I say firmly, struggling to keep my breathing and heartbeat calm. Before I have time to talk myself out of it, I shut my eyes tight and enter Secret's mind.

Everything goes dark.

Everything is dark, quiet, and empty. I stand still without ground beneath my feet. I breathe though there is no air. There is nothing.

Out of nowhere I feel breathing down my neck. I gasp and whip around. I find myself face to face with a nightmare. A scream rips from my throat. I scream and scream till my throat is raw and broken.

Suddenly I'm somewhere I've never been before. Lush, dark green grass grows thick beneath my feet like a carpet. Trees unlike anything I've seen tower over me, with long, flower-adorned vines dangling from the branches.

The sky is blood red.

I float upwards and over the treetops to get a better view of my surroundings. In this dream-body flying is even more effortless than it is on earth.

I've only just calmed by pounding heart from the previous terror. Now I'm faced with a whole new horror. Fire, everywhere, as far as the eye can see. The air suddenly becomes thick with smoke, so much so that I have to cough. I'm suddenly unable to fly, and I plummet to the ground, landing hard and twisting my ankle. I grimace and touch it gingerly.

Things get hot, fast. Suddenly I'm surrounded by lapping flames. There's no where to run. I'm paralyzed. I sit and watch with wide eyes as the fire creeps closer and closer and consume me. There is no pain. There is only the numb realization that I am going to die here, alone. I weep, and my tears sizzle as they touch fall into the fire.

I'm suddenly in a new place. My face is still wet with tears, and I still feel numb. This new place is a cold, dark, musty smelling room. I hear someone breathing. Their breaths are shallow. I struggle to my feet and feel around in the dark until I find a light. The room lights up and I'm met with yet another nightmare.

A bloody, beaten child lays in the corner of the room, her body frighteningly still.

My breath catches in my throat. I stumble forward and kneel besides her. "Hey," I say, brushing her hair out of her face. I recoil sharply.

It's Secrets. She's young, far younger than she is as I know her. Her eyes are opened wide and staring blankly at the floor. Her breathing is shallow, and her blood stains the floor.

"Oh, Secrets," I whisper.

"I deserve to die." Her voice is so fragile and empty. "This is my fault."

I clench my jaw. The numb feeling is gone, replaced by fiery rage. "No. I refuse to believe that. Whoever did this deserves to die."

Her gaze flickers up and meets my own. There's a knife in her hand. With a sad smile, she plunges it into her own-

I run away. I don't want to see that. I never, ever want to see that.

I change location once again. Dread washes over me. I'm not sure I can handle another nightmare. After a few minutes I open my eyes a crack. I'm in a large, sparsely furnished room. All is quiet and peaceful.

"Thanks for visiting," a monotone voice says.

I turn to see Secrets sitting in a plain wooden chair in the middle of the mostly empty room, her back hunched and her hair hanging limply over her shoulders. Her blue eyes are dim, and her pupils, which I had seen before as white, were black and ordinary. She was practically powerless.

She looks up at me. "I apologize. You shouldn't have come."

"Secrets..."

"I don't even deserve my name," she shouts suddenly. Her eyes flare up, nearing the shade of blue they usually are, then calming down and becoming dull again. "My duty, my career, my entire purpose is to keep secrets. Secrets of the world. Secrets of everyone. Secrets that could tear the galaxy apart. You've seen quite a lot... How much exactly?"

"The impersonation of a nightmare," I say softly. "A terrible face with eyes full of hunger for blood and rage. I saw fire consuming a beautiful world, and I saw you. Secrets, I am so sorry about whatever you went through."

She suddenly looks puzzled. "What?"

"When you were young," I explain. "I saw you-" I stop suddenly. This isn't making sense anymore. She never killed herself as a child. How would she be here now?

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I... I don't think that was your nightmare," I say, confused. "I thought it looked like you but now I'm not so sure. It was a child. She had been beaten and..." I stop talking. I don't want to say how the nightmare ended.

Secrets shakes her head. "That wasn't mine. I mean, I had a rough childhood but no one hurt me. Just high expectations to deal with. That's nothing compared to some secrets I've seen." A shudder runs through her.

I take a breath and push the disturbing dream from my mind. "Secrets, you need to wake up. Your guilt is going to trap you here. Just because I've seen things doesn't mean you've failed your purpose. I'll keep the secrets. I don't even understand what I saw. That's the thing about dreams. They're vague when you're not in them. When I was there it felt so real. Now its fading already. Wake up, Secrets."

She blinks sadly. "I don't know how. This isn't an ordinary dream. I kept seeing the most horrible secrets right before my eyes. Could you wake me up?"

I frown slightly. "I don't know. Let me try." I shut my eyes and focus. As I focus on the dream essence of this illusion, I feel removed. I focus on ending the dream. I focus on making her wake up.

I forget to focus on myself.