Irresistible Desire

Are you gonna marry my sister?

It had pained him to admit that the
ache to father a child was so great he
would give her up if she couldn't
bring herself to bear his touch. Yet,
it was the truth. He'd never wanted
much in his life, but he wanted to
hold his child in his arms. How could
someone as innocent as Grace
understand his need to find
redemption by creating a life.

Grace spent that night at home. She
rose at seven the next day and was
ready an hour later to go and pick up
Simon, who would be dropped off at
the school with the other
children.Jacob was on her doorstep
just after eight.

The sight of him rattled her. She'd
just spent hours dreaming of him
and none of the dreams had been
comfortable. It was as if her own
mind was taunting her with what could be. "I don't know if you should
come," she finally said. "I know I
invited you but it might be too
sudden."

Her worry was genuine but
she also needed time alone to sort
out her tumultuous feelings.

"He has to know. And we have to see
how he reacts to me." Taking the bag
she'd packed in anticipation of
spending the night before the
wedding at his house, Jacob touched
her on her lower back, a subtle
pressure that reminded her she now
belonged to him.

Her feelings of confusion intensified
but she didn't move away, because
while Jacob might be the most
disturbing thing in her life, he was
also the safest. "I don't want him to
know why we're marrying." She
couldn't bear it if Simon thought she
was sacrificing something for him, because she wasn't.

"I agree."

As they drove to the school.Jacob
said, "Don't worry. He's met me
before so it won't be a total surprise."
The fleeting touch on her cheek was
unexpected but welcome.

Dutifully chaperoned by his camp
counselor, her brother was waiting
for them by the gate. When the sleek
black Mercedes stopped in front of
him, she saw his eyes widen. She
stepped out and felt Jacob follow.
While she went to hug Simon, after
thanking the counselor, he picked up
her brother's bags and dumped them
in the trunk.

After a quick hug that apparently
embarrassed him from the speed
with which he pulled away, Simon looked up at the man beside her.

"Hi, Jacob."

"Simon."

Simon was a smart boy. He looked
from her to Jacob.

"What?"

Speculation turned his blue eyes sky-
bright.

Grace didn't want to tell him right
now but realized that she didn't
really have a choice.

"What would you say ifI told you that ... me and Jacob..."

Simon started to grin. "Are you
gonna marry my sister?"

Her jaw dropped. "How did you
know that?"

The boy shrugged. "I dunno. Cause Jacob likes you?"

Flustered, she looked at Jacob, who
just said, "Smart kid. Jump in the car
-we'll talk on the way."

Simon scrambled in, already asking
his first question. "Are we going to
live with you?"

"Yes."Jacob answered.

A short silence. "Will I always stay
with you?"

Grace frowned, not understanding.
But Jacob evidently did. Stopping
the car at the side of the street, he
looked over his shoulder.
"Yes. I went to boarding school and I would never send a child of mine there."

"But I'm not yours."

Grace's heart clenched at that quiet
statement. Her instinct was to
reassure him but she remained
silent, aware that something
important was happening between
the solemn, ten-year-old and the
charismatic man in the driver's seat.

"You are now. There was no arguing
with Jacob's decisive statement. He
turned and restarted the car.
Simon was quiet for a longtime.

Then he said, "Will I have my own
room like I do now?"

"Sure. You can't sleep with us, after
all."

Jacob grinned in the rearview
mirror.

"You can have one of the two
big first floor bedrooms. We'll be on
the second floor."

Meanwhile,Grace's stomach went
into freefall. He'd said "us." Did he expect her to have sex with him from
the start in spite of everything? The
idea of being with him wasn't
abhorrent, had never been so. It was
the fact that she knew she'd freeze
up and he'd hate her for it.

Once at the apartment, she sent
Simon off to pack enough fresh
clothes to see him through to the
wedding.

Jacob came to stand in front of her.
"Something's bothering you.'

His body language conveyed that he
wasn't moving until she confided in
him. She swallowed and decided to be
blunt.

"Are we going to be sharing a
bedroom?"

His mouth thinned. "I won't go back
on my word,Grace. You may not have noticed, but my bedroom is part of a suite. It's internally connected to a smaller bedroom. You can use that. Simon will never know."

"I hadn't considered what he'd think
if we were in separate bedrooms."

She was flustered, used to providing
everything for her brother's
happiness.

Jacob took her hand in his, his dark
gaze trapping hers. "You can't think
of everything. Learn to depend on
me a little. We males like to be
needed."

"I'm depending on you a great deal."
The strong lines of his face were
suddenly sharper. "Do not just
depend on me as someone powerful,
but also as a man. As your husband.
You are now in my care." His rough
declaration made her eyes widen in
surprise.

"Grace! I don't have a suit for your
wedding." Simon barreled out of his
room. Worry stamped his face.
Jacob reached out and tousled his
jet-black hair. "I've ordered you a
tux. If you're ready, let's head home."
Simon's smile strengthened Grace's
resolve. She'd do anything for her
brother.

And, she thought, a little shocked, she'd do anything to keep a smile on Jacob's face, too. She would not hurt him by withholding herself - he understood her fear but it was a
rejection all the same, telling him that she didn't trust him. If she couldn't trust her body with Jacob, who could she trust?

who could she trust?

It was a startling insight.
That day was a whirlwind of activity.
With Simon tagging along quietly, Grace went to work with Jacob, helping him organize matters so that the studios could temporarily function without him at the helm.

After lunch, she left to meet Maggie,
the therapist she'd agreed to see. To
her surprise, she found herself
comfortable with the older woman
who welcomed her into her office.

When she returned to the studios, Jacob simply asked, "So?"

"I like her. It might work."

Giving her a smile, Jacob went back
to work and after checking on Simon, she continued to assist him.

They'd agreed to leave town for a few
days on the pretext of a honeymoon,
so that Kenny would have no room
to ask awkward questions about
their marriage. As Simon was now
on vacation, it was decided that he'd
spend the time out on a farm, with a
friend of his who'd moved out of the
city.

"I want to take him with us, but I
know we have to give the impression
of being on a honeymoon, "Grace
said, late that night.

She was pacin in front of the sofa, while Jacob stood by the window, back to the night, cognac in hand. The amber liquid sparkled through the crystal snifter, momentarily catching her gaze. "I've missed him so much. I
don't know if they'll take care of him
out on the farm."

"You're overprotective."Jacob's quiet declaration stopped her midpace.