All the days of our lives

Value

The day finally came to an end. I rushed the packing of my stuff and I stood up to drag Trish along with me. She was not seated there and I looked around only to find her with Cassandra again. Seeing them together just gets me annoyed and I thought I did not know why until I realized earlier today that I did consider Trish my friend. I liked the attention she gave me even though I did not reciprocate as much and it felt lonely that she was not here right now. I wanted to go over there and pull her with me but I thought otherwise. It seems better this way, at least I do not have to feel like I owe someone loyalty or attention. I went out of the class, bumping into the new guy in class, Weston. I continued my walk without saying anything. We already do not talk to each other so there was no point starting with sorry. 

When I got outside, Smith was surprisingly there, waiting. I did not want him to be late, but I also do not want him to be this early. I usually had time to observe all the students going out of the school before he came. Before now, I barely knew all the people in my class not to talk of other students in the school. But I felt like I needed to be in touch with my surroundings a bit more. If possible, I could get friends. 

-Hi, Smith!-

-Hey. Where are your brothers?- I shrugged and he nodded.

-How was your day though?-

-It was fine... You are not expecting me to say anything else are you?- I said and laughed alongside Smith who understood the joke. He went out to look for my younger brother at least. My older brother was no worry. 

So where was I?

Right. I had to get more friends and get in touch with people more if my high school was going to be any fun for me. The truth is, it was not my idea. I think I love me this way but many people say it is the life of a proud kid and I was beginning to worry. The members of my class were the ones who advised me to do more with my life. 

And yeah, we are close in my class but I can not have every single person in my class as my friend, can I? They are my classmates and I am theirs. Well, before you ask, I have friends actually. I had friends. What happened to them? Even I do not know; they suddenly changed towards me after getting me to like being updated on class and school gist. Right now, I have just one friend, Diana. We talk and she is the only one I feel comfortable talking to and telling things, Trish is there sometimes but... That is enough, I want to listen to music. My playlist? It is a secret for now, I am quite embarrassed of my current playlist. 

I placed my headset over my ears and closed my eyes, resting my head on the headrest.

I got to school early the next day and the day after that. In fact, for the rest of the term, I was early, in my own way. At least, I was in school immediately the first bell was rung and I was good at avoiding the teachers and principal. The principal and I seemed to get along more recently.

In few weeks, we would be having our half term holiday and I was really looking forward to it. I aced all my tests and only three of us were in close quarters. I was determined to get ahead of them before the half term tests. 

Our class teacher walked into the class one day and decided to re-arrange the sitting positions of my classmates and I. I despised the idea but I was not going to portray myself a spitfire and get paired with someone I definitely would not like, for being rude. Do not get me wrong, I love my classmates but not to the point of every single person in it. I do not have any personal grudge with anyone that I am aware of but I obviously am not the type of person to want to be around everybody. Well, I was hoping for the best with the pairing until the teacher said she was not going to be doing the pairing. She wrote numbers into small papers and rolled them into small balls and asked each student to pick one each. I picked my ball and walked to stand by the door with my things tucked into my bag waiting to see where I would be seated because the class was as rowdy as ever and I would not want to be in the middle of all that. When half of the class had settled down, I found my way to my seat, the second-to-the-last-row in the last column. I was okay with anywhere as long as I was not at the front of the class. Diana was in the last row in the column next to mine which I could easily face with a small turn. I looked up and saw Billy exchanging his ball with another person and I prayed he would sit beside me instead of a random other person. And he did. His seat was on my right and the moment he got there, he did not hesitate to start talking to me. I only smiled and resumed staring at the other people. On my left was another guy I could partially stand, Omas.  And beside him was Trish. I was tired of looking around so I placed my head on my desk and slept off.

I gradually became used to my new seat and my left hand partner. He had  drawn his seat closer to mine and we conversed most of the time. I had to agree, his company was quite okay except when he was being a Smart Alec which I also was, rarely though. 

Guess what happened next? A few days to the half term exams, he told me he had feelings for me which on little thought, I confessed the feeling was mutual because I did not want to be bluntly hurtful. As a result, I could not really focus on my exams because I was already involved with a senior in the 10th grade, nicknamed Slick, for his dancing skills, whom I lived in the same boulevard with. We were not dating but he told me he had feeling for me and I had not yet accepted that I also had some for him, though I know I did. I wanted to concentrate because I knew that at the end of the day, I still would not accept either of them, but I said nothing, enjoying the attention.

Half-term came and I went home promising Billy to give him answers after the holiday. I knew I was not going to accept but I needed the space so that his constant pressure would not make me give in by mistake.