All the days of our lives

Half term goes badly

I began my week-long half-term holiday in full spirits and... wait let me tell you exactly how I started it. 

When I woke up, with my alarm still set to the time I usually woke up to prepare for school, I sluggishly went to bathe and prepare for school. When I sent a message to our group chat, almost everyone was online, which was weird. Then I asked the dumbest question of the year, *Are you guys not going to school? I am usually the only one on here around this time.* People laughed at my comment, thinking I was trying to be funny. And it was only then that I started to realize that I was being funny; we were on our half-term break. I immediately told them that I had actually forgotten and now that I remember, it was funny. Some laughed, some viewed and ignored, and some gave comments that sounded like I was just trying to garner attention to myself that morning. I was not in the mood to start analyzing people and their thoughts and reactions toward anything that had to do with me. I smacked my forehead and lay flat on the bed, still smiling to myself for being stupid. A text came in, and I replied immediately, cause I was not one to ignore messages. I could ignore people in real life, but not online, mostly too friendly online that I am even worried about myself but whenever I try not to be, I fail.

Billy sent a text and I read it through and again, not understanding what I was seeing because my mind just became filled up again. When I realized I was supposed to do something after reading the text, I shook my head with my eyes closed and I held my phone tight. I opened my eyes and I could see better now. 

*Hi babe.* I was sure it was a mistake so I casually replied with a hey. And he replied me, being careful enough to add the title again. I did not comment on it again, trying to be sure. Sure of what exactly? I did not know but I did not caution him to stop. When he had used it severally, I seriously became uncomfortable this time and warned him to stop which I regret doing because ... you will find out soon enough, just not now.

-It is just a normal name that people address themselves with. When you see your friend, you simply can address them as babe, sweetheart, or any other cute name. I mean it is natural to call them that. Or do you not know?-

I was not one to say I did not know something because everybody thought highly of me; I knew everything. I hated it but always feeling the burden of having to live up to it on my shoulders did not help matters. And my reply was sad.

-I know B. I do know. But you know you asked me out and I am yet to give a reply, I just do not want people to think we are dating when they read our chat.- What was I thinking? I knew the asking out was done privately and our chat is our chat, not a comment section. I was sounding so stupid and pathetic but I could not do anything about it, I already sounded that way, I waited for his reply.

-My friends would not say anything, they also have friends. And like I said, it is a normal name, no one would read it wrong. I am willing to wait for your reply, as you already know.- He used a laughing emoji after the first sentence. My eyes did not seem to catch any other thing in the text. Did his friends read his chat? I have to be careful then. He sent another text but I did not get to reply to it because my crush already came online, the senior I earlier mentioned, Theodore. And he sent me a text. Do you want to know how we started chatting? Well...Wait, I have to reply! After that, I would reply to Billy.

*

Well, day one ended well and I sensed it was going to be a very long half-term break. The only good thing was that I was going to love it, Theodore was going to make me love it. I once liked Billy, like crushing on him. And if Theodore had not come into the picture, I would have jumped at Billy and his proposal.  I was just 14,, why should I be talking or thinking about these kinds of things? But at that time, I thought of myself as mature enough and of age. I did not think I was too young for anything.