Ranboo angst <3

Chapter Two: Truth or Dare

Ranboo POV

After I finish my breakfast I walk over to the living room where everyone is sat in a circle on the floor. I sit beside Aimsey and Billzo. Once everyone arrived and sat down we started the game. Im not going to lie I was excited to learn more about people but something about this felt, I don't know, off?

We went around the circle and were asking each other questions, it was so fun. Dream asked Tommy if Tommy actually liked his music or just pretended to. Tommy answered hesitantly but ended up replying with that he liked it but some of the lyrics were odd. A few people in the room including me immediately thought of the sus remix of Mask. This earned many laughs from around the room and a disapproving smile from dream who agreed some of the lyrics were odd.

Some of the questions were on sexuality aswell in which I learnt about many of the people in the rooms sexuality which was interesting and also slightly welcoming now I knew that there were so many people part of the lgbtq+ community in this room. I already knew of a few but now I realised how many there actually was. Several different types of questions were asked, some deeper and more personal than others. No one had done dare yet as everyone believed there was no reason for them to do a dare.

But before I knew it, it got to me. My stomach did a flip the second I heard the question. I could either answer it or I would be given a really harsh dare. The question was "I'm sorry if this is too personal and you don't have to answer it, but what are those scars on your arms and hands?" I panicked slightly, worried of what the rest would think of me.

"The ones on my hands are from a few years ago when I fell off my bike pretty bad and scarred my hands." I took a deep breath and then I saw Billzo lean over to see what scars they were talking about and I saw his face go white as a sheet. "Ranboo?" I heard Billzo say, I ignored his attempt to get my attention and started to answer the rest of the question. "As for my arms... basically in high school I was experiencing a lot of problems with bullying and..." A lot of people had caught on, I could tell. "I reached an all time low and I did this to myself don't worry though I'm feeling better now. The last time I had an issue like this was last winter." 

A lot of them were silent before Tommy spoke up, him being the one who asked me the question. "Ranboo if you ever feel like this again just know you can come to me. It doesn't matter if I'm streaming or anything just knock on my door and we can talk, ok?"

I felt a sense of relief as everyone agreed with him but there was a part of me that didn't believe them. I knew I was going to feel like that again this winter but I didn't tell them that. I could already feel that it was going to happen and I was dreading it but it had to happen at some point.
Tubbo: "-oo. ranboo. Ranboo. RANBOO!"

Ranboo: "Huh? Oh sorry I must have zoned out."

Niki: "Ranboo are you sure you are ok?"

Ranboo: "Yeah don't worry guys. I think I'm going to go upstairs, I still have a few things to unpack. See you in a bit."

I gave them a light smile, the kind where you press your lips tight together. I didn't let them say anything else and I just walked out of the room and up the stairs. I now had a pit in my stomach, now they all knew that I could possibly be a danger to myself especially since things have been getting worse recently. What if they told the fans? What if they told my parents? No surely they wouldnt do something like that. My mind was filled with thoughts some good and some bad. One that kept recurring was 'They don't care about you, they are only using you for money and fame'. It's probably right, I did gain popularity insanely fast and it was weird how fast they all wanted to be friends with me after that.

I tried to ignore the thought but it kept repeating and repeating itself until I was on the floor crying. If anyone walked into my room right now they wouldnt be able to see me because I was hidden behind my bed. Luckily this house was soundproof so I didn't have to worry about them hearing me. At first I was just crying but then I started to shake and then before I knew it I couldn't breathe properly.
"h e l-"
I tried to say help but it was quiet and I couldn't finish it because I had no air left. I heard my bedroom door open.
"Ranboo, where are you?"
I tried to move from behind my bed and around, I could pin point the exact moment the person saw me. I didn't know who it was, I was panicking too much to realise.