I'm Not Sad Anymore

Chapter 3: Move On

Its been months since I last saw him.

Its also been a while since I started doing things alone again.

Before I met him, I love myself so much that I'm confident in every thing I do.

I can travel alone, I can eat alone, I can stop going online to unwind myself, I can hangout without minding if someone theres waiting for me.

Right now, I'm almost there. I'm also at the point where I can now say I don't love him anymore.

While I'm dating myself I saw someone I didn't think I'll see.

That's right. I saw him.

I saw him with someone else. Him with his new girlfriend. I don't know if that girl is the one before but I don't feel anything now.

I didn't expect this feeling. I thought if I saw him I'll cry again.

I thought I'll break down and all of my effort become nothing again.

But its amazing that it didn't happen.

I think I'm ready now. Ready to let go of everything.

I go to the cafe again where we ended everything.

I look around and remember the very moment he left me behind.

I laugh at the thought I didn't run after him but thinking about it now, its a good choice.

Living and continuing with this crack relationship will only lead to more heartache and deep heartbreak.

I sat down at the place he left me behind and play a song that currently reflect what I feel.

"Not Sad Anymore"
By: Clara Mae

I think I'm gonna clean my apartment
Get rid of all the things that I don't need
Come and pick 'em up if you want them
I'll leave 'em right by the door
I don't want it anymore

While listening, I deleted every picture that is intimate. I won't delete all of it since its our memories. Memories that I know I won't forget.

I think I'm gonna go to a party
Hang out with a friend you were worried 'bout
And I don't have to say I'm sorry
For something I didn't do
Ain't making it all 'bout you

So, hey, what's the use being sad over you
Now I can't seem to remember being broken
And hey, what's the time? 'Cause you're not on my mind
I'm just making sure I won't forget the moment

I go to my calendar and mark down today as a "move on day" for myself. I saw him but I don't feel hurt. Isn't it great.

When I'm not sad anymore
I'm not sad anymore, no more now
I'm just mad at myself for being dumb enough to love you
But I'm not sad anymore

I twitted to my twitter "Healed." with ease.

The more I do this things the more I feel that the heartache I felt before slowly leaving me.

I'm gonna reconnect with my old self
I like the one I was before we met
I'm gonna buy a one-way ticket
Go places I've never been
'Cause I can do anything

Now, I think I can say I am what I used to be. The girl who won't cry easily. The girl who love herself and rely on herself. The girl who don't need someone to be happy.

Going out on Monday
Spend all of my money
Sleep into the afternoon
I got all this time now
When you're not around and
I'm not running after

I can now go to places we went together without feeling hurt. I can now say that the feelings I had with you is just memories now.

You took up all my space
And it feels so good to say

Hey, what's the use being sad over you
Now I can't seem to remember being broken
And hey, what's the time? 'Cause you're not on my mind
I'm just making sure I won't forget the moment

I also deleted intimate post in my social media. I unsend all intimate pictures in all chat box I can see.

When I'm not sad anymore
I'm not sad anymore, no more now
I'm just mad at myself for being dumb enough to love you
But I'm not sad anymore

I think I'm gonna throw me a party
And dance around the kitchen like
I never got hurt, never gave up my heart
It doesn't feel like I loved you at all

Every memories we had, every moments we spend together. I slowly replace it with mine alone.

Hey, what's the use being sad over you
Now I can't seem to remember being broken
And hey, what's the time? 'Cause you're not on my mind
I'm just making sure I won't forget the moment

I spend time alone. Finding myself. Healing myself. Now I succeeded.

When I'm not sad anymore
I'm not sad anymore, no more now
I'm just mad at myself for being dumb enough to love you
But I'm not sad anymore
I'm not sad anymore, no more now
I'm just mad at myself for being dumb enough to love you
But I'm not sad anymore

I succeeded forgetting the feelings you left behind. I succeeded moving on after months of trying.

I can now look at you at ease.

I can now look at you without feelings.

I can now say "be happy".

I don't love you anymore.

I stood up from my seat and walk away. It feels nice this time because its different from before.

This time I'm not confuse.

This time I'm not questioning anything.

This time I'm not crying.

This time I'm not hurting.

This time I'm free.

This time I held my head high.

Because right now, I'm not sad anymore.

***

Author's Note:
Thank you for reading. This short story is based on someone's experience and of course I won't tell who it is. Maybe its me, maybe its a friend, maybe someone from faraway.

This story is written to list down what that person felt and what happen after break up.

That person what to convey that you don't need to be sad forever. You can be sad but not until the end.

Please, don't be sad anymore.