Memories of the Reaper

Chapter Ten

When Reynold Shawe finished his lengthy monologue, Derek Grey stood, still staring at the seemingly-eternal willow, speechless. There was a lot to comprehend and to understand, and his mind was already murky beforehand. Navigating the waters without a guide was a treacherous excursion. "So, these spirits... They live inside of us?" Derek asked, hoping to understand how all of this information pertained to him.

"Yes. In our hearts and in our minds. If you seek them out, you can feel their presence."

Derek looked at him, puzzled. Skeptically though still curious, Derek closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He reached out with his mind, looking for something that he thought would have been foreign. He called out, Hey, is anybody in there? It sounded lame in his own ears, but still he felt a feeling of warmth spread across his chest and the hairs on his neck raised. He shuddered, reveling in the surge of heat. After a couple of moments, it went away, as mystically and unexpected as its arrival. "Woah," Derek said. "That's just... unreal."

"It's definitely real, sweetheart," Kendra told him while rolling her eyes.

Derek shook his head. His comprehension was reaching a breaking point. "So, what exactly happened then, its soul merged with my own?"

"Not in the true sense of the word soul. Its essence merged with your own essence." Reynold looked at Derek, sensed his extreme confusion, and delved back into the conversation for further context. "You must understand, when human beings coined the term soul, they didn't fully grasp the concept of death—they still don't... A soul does not exist. The idea of a human soul is a lie, a construct made by humans to explain something of which they have no understanding. However, what is true is that every living creature has essence, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, or species. A creature's essence contains their memories, personality, and abilities. You have essence, plants have essence, so do the birds above, and even the earth worms below." He sighed. "It was foolish for humans to believe themselves so special that only they had the chance of life after death... Pitiful really—I can't believe that I too believed it at one time," Reynold told him with a thinly veiled mask of disgust.

Derek felt his heart drop. He thought briefly about his family before asking, "So, heaven and hell... They don't exist?"

"Not in the Christian sense of the word, no."

Derek had a seeking feeling in the bottom of his stomach. My parents... he thought. "Then, what happens to a person's..." he searched for the word. "Essence? Where does it go?"

"It drifts aimlessly through the universe until it is absorbed by another, whether that be a spirit, a Voider, or another mortal."

"But, what about my family!" Derek exploded. "Do I ever get to see them again?"

"I don't know," Reynold told him but did not meet his eyes. "It's a terrible realization, but it's the truth. A reaper's essence can only be absorbed by its heir because it is bonded to the Spirit, but other creatures are not as lucky as us."

"No-no-no-no!" Derek told him, his eyes brimming with tears. "It can't be." A scream clawed its way up his throat and escaped through his lips—but was silent. He couldn't breathe, and therefore, had no way of audibly yelling.

"Breathe, Derek. Breathe." Kendra told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You need to take a breath."

After several seconds of choking, Derek finally took a large breath in and vomited on the ground. He probably would have fallen in his own puke if Kendra and Reynold hadn't lifted him to his feet. He grabbed them both weakly, unable to stand on his own. For several minutes, they only stood there, saying nothing; Kendra glanced at Derek out of the corner of her eye on several occasions but kept the silence intact. He finally decided to ask another question.