Freedom in Servitude - Diluc x Reader

Enough

You were grateful for the rattling of the carriage to fill the silence that felt heavy and thick on you and Diluc. You stared out the window at the rocky scenery while your mind raced. It jumped from one memory to the next.

Your knee bounced anxiously thinking about Diluc's reaction to meeting Tartaglia and finding out who he was. You felt a pang in your chest remembering the conclusion you came to this morning. You didn't want this to ruin the relationship that you both had developed over the past year. Worry seeped out of your pores as you glanced at Diluc's stoic face reading a book. He felt you looking at him and his eyes shot up and locked with yours. You quickly looked back out the window.

"What?" he asked. You shook your head, still fixated on the scenery.

"Nothing," you answered in a voice barely above a whisper. Diluc breathed in sharply.

"No more dizzying revelations for this trip?" he asked sarcastically. You sensed a bit of annoyance in his voice and furrowed your eyebrows. You looked at him, but he stayed gazing at his book.

"What does that mean?" you asked, sounding a bit hurt. Diluc shrugged silently. You were taken aback by how distant he was being.

"Diluc, what's wrong?" He sighed and closed his book. The amount of attitude he was giving you made you immediately feel irritated after all you had gone through.

"Nothing's wrong, per se," he said, "I just feel like I don't know you anymore." You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

"You don't," you shot back, "You never fully have. But I never tried to disguise the fact that I didn't want to talk about my past and that there were things I wanted to keep to myself. I've always been honest about that. Why does it matter all of the sudden?" Diluc stared back at you silently, you could see one of his eyebrows quirked up slightly in anger.

"What is your problem?" you suddenly snapped. You felt so hurt that the man you cared for so greatly was treating you this way, you couldn't hold back your anger.

"Me? I don't have a problem," he replied, leaning in slightly, "If I don't know you then that's fine." You scoffed.

"I've told you things I've never told anybody, ever. I opened up to you. Sorry if I left out a few minor details," you said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes at you and reopened his book.

"Right, because having a fiancée is minor," he muttered angrily. You were taken aback.

The hurt set in that Diluc was legitimately angry with you. His entire demeanor was negative. He was tense and angry and it made you feel the same.

"That's what this is about?" you responded in surprise and leaned forward, "It was an arranged marriage my parents set up. I was lucky enough that he was my friend but it was never what I wanted. Is that what you want to hear?" Diluc snapped his book shut.

"You're a Harbinger," he accused harshly. You stopped, gritting your teeth and glaring at him.

"I was," you answered as calmly as you could, sitting back again.

"So you were not only Fatui, but you were one of their leaders. He said Uccisora. That means 'killer'. Killer of many, no doubt." You felt a lump growing in your throat. "I heard rumors about a secret twelfth member of the Harbingers who was a covert assassin. I never thought it would be you."

"It's not like I enjoyed it," you spat, "There's a reason I left, Diluc."

"But you admit it, you were an assassin," he stated. You sighed in frustration.

"Yes, I was," you confessed frankly, "I didn't want to, but I had to. I did what I had to do to survive."

"Survive as a princess in a castle with a rich fiancée," he finished in a sharp tone. You scoffed in disbelief. Your body began to shake with anger.

"First of all, you know nothing about Tartaglia, so don't ever speak on him again," you snapped, "Second of all, I told you that's why I don't tell people who I was back then. I don't want to hear their judgment. I never expected it from you." Diluc stared back at you stoically.

"I have literally told you state secrets," you seethed slowly, "Even T doesn't know about my dad, but you do. Sorry if I don't want to talk about every little detail." Diluc scoffed.

"These aren't minor details!" he reiterated, raising his voice a bit, "You worked as a Fatui agent. An assassin for Snezhnaya. You KILLED people, Y/N." You sat silent for a moment, feeling tears start to form in your eyes.

"So you want me to tell you everything?" you yelled back, your voice cracking a bit, "You want to hear every tragic event that happened in my life? Why don't I give you a list?" You cleared your throat and sat up straight while Diluc rolled his eyes again.

"That's not-" he started, but you didn't care what he had to say.

"When I was 5 my mother told me to my face she'd never be proud of me because I wasn't worthy of succeeding her and she made that very clear for the rest of my life. Every time I came home after an assignment where I had to, yes—just like any other person in any military—kill somebody I would have a nervous breakdown and sob so hard my chest would be sore for days. The only person who could calm me down was Tartaglia and even that stopped working eventually so they sent him into my room with tranquilizers. Some days I was so drugged up I would drool into my dinner and didn't even know my own name. My father-" you spat this word out like it was poison, "started molesting me as soon as I could form a coherent sentence, and when I finally had the confidence to fight back, he started kicking the shit out of me until I couldn't move anymore." You stood up, steadying yourself by grabbing the wall of the carriage.

"I was supposed to assassinate Varka when I snuck on his ship, but I chose not to, because I finally realized my past and my family doesn't define who I am. I DO," you finished intensely as tears finally escaped your eyes and flowed down your cheeks. Diluc stared at you, his jaw clenched.

"Is that enough?!" you yelled. Diluc stayed silent, not knowing what to say and processing. The expression on his face shifted from one emotion to the next quickly.

"Good," you stated, and opened the carriage door and jumped out. You tucked and rolled then stood up and dusted yourself off, walking the opposite direction of the carriage and still burning with anger.

"Stop the carriage!" Diluc yelled and banged on the wall closest to the driver. You spotted a man riding up on a horse and flagged him down.

"Excuse me, sir!" you called to him politely, "May I ask where you're heading?"

"Mondstadt," he replied. You smiled brightly.

"Perfect! Mind if I hitch a ride?" you asked sweetly.

"Only if you can handle the speed," he responded, smirking confidently. You smiled back, putting on a grand show.

"Oh, I can handle it, don't you worry," you replied flirtatiously. He quickly gestured and you speedily hopped on the horse behind him.

By the time Diluc exited the carriage, you whizzed by on the stranger's horse, leaving him behind.

"Y/N!" he yelled after you, "Come back!" But you didn't care. You clung to the stranger and tried not to cry again as Diluc watched you ride away in disbelief.

"Dammit!" he grunted in frustration.

The entire carriage shook as his fist came in contact with it.