Dear Diary

Damn! Now I know when women said cock coma! LOL. I felt it too, finally. Huahahhaah this can make you think all my exes are lame. But to be honest C reminds me of what I had way, way back then before J. Dry spell after D made me forgot about sex and then I met J. And as if I was virgin again *sigh*.

Now after I had time to think clearly. I realized back then with E and D, I did have a normal sex life. Not that I think of our sex back then and got wet. But some fragments of my memories made me realize J was the one who different, and I was too blind to see it.

Anyway, C asked my phone numbers again. I really want to give him. The connection I have with him, the chemistry... all too real. But I'm not ready for this. The wound still fresh in my heart.

And I also afraid that what I feel for him is more like rebound thing. It won't be fair for him. But to be honest, I like him, a lot!

I hate the speech it's not you but me. But really, this time, it's really me. I'm not in the right place to have another relationship. I need to focus with my life for now, and heal the wound J made.

I will surely miss C, the sweet and hot time we spent together in Maui will be one of the best chapters in my life.