The Soul Reaper's Avidity | Guardian 镇魂

shen: the dilemma

And so the tragedy and dread begins...

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Recalling this, I regretted meeting him in the first place. After all, I'm immature at that time. Moreso, the dread began, and also, my karma.

The relationship between me and Shen grew. The intimacy remains, and we live in awe of domestic bliss. Shen started a garden , and he plants certain vegetables whilst I remain in the hut doing household chores.

It was a very calming feeling, the day I crave so much has happened. Seeing him smile and interact with me, the missing bliss we have not enough spent after Kunlun-jun's sacrifice.

It's a dream come true.

Shen and I often went to the market together. Sometimes, he went alone, and most when humans were accustomed to a term 'date' wherein, couples spent a day wandering the streets and knowing each other.

But of course, there are plenty until a millenia passes.

Shen is the one who collects the ingredients while I start to learn the art of cooking. Shen's favorite is pumpkin soup with vegetables as a side dish. Which, I prefer to cook once a week.

Purposely cooking some meals for him to stay healthy, I initiate the 'household' rather than hunting with him, fearing that humans would discover my identity during the course of action.

Hence, I remain hiding with Shen.

He never knew everything about me. He often asked but remained silent, for he knew that I'm not a type of person who could share.

He musn't know about me and about the pillar. Staying with him is enough for me.

It ached me sometimes that I have hoped I'll tell him everything. And yet, the promise I made to my sworn enemy should remain unfold.

And yet, Kunlun-jun can reincarnate many times fold and rather than suffering with him. I knew this lifetime was a dreadful mistake.

It started with Shen whining how his body is sore, I thought at first it must be during the intimate session he and I shared. So I refrain from making love with him further, and yet. His health has gone worse.

I started to see signs of his skin slowly getting pale, his body became skinny, and his appetite wasn't energetic as he used to be. It concerns me and thinks of such ways to heal him. My abilities aren't to heal a human being but drain their energy...

Yes... their energy. The problem isn't the intimacy...

The problem is me.

I sneak out that night while Shen is asleep. I went to a library whose open at night to read such indecent books. My intention to go there is to obtain information about myself - a ghost.

Thankfully, the owner of the shameless library is kind and gave me books that are related to what I'm looking for. Hence, I am beginning my search for answers.

The books contain information that has been gathered for a long time about my nature. Ghosts tend to drain human's energy as a way to charge themselves, and once a human soul is drained, a human dies.

Fear grew on me, Shen doesn't deserve this...guilt and shame, I finally grasp what Shennong says about being near him.

A ghost and a human shall not be together...

It wounds me, but I shall find a way.

And yet, no findings in the past could save a human from a ghost's drainage of his soul. Ghosts are portrayed differently to humans and as a ghost myself that's supposed to lead my tribe and yet go into a different path. Leaving my twin brother behind...

The only thing that could make him safe is to...stay away from me.

(Credits to the artist of this artwork)