Memorable Nights

Memorable Nights (8)

Zimele's POV

This was a very stressful day for both of us. I laid next to Zama on my bed, staring at her face while she was deep in sleep. She was clinging on to me as if to stop me from leaving her for even a second. I admit that was not a very level-headed decision to make, and I was not thinking well at the moment... it just seemed more plausible to me at the time. A heavy sigh left my lips. I had to decide soon. My time was almost up. I just hated how i was being crucified for something that was out of anyone's control. I did not ask to be born like this. If anything, i should be blaming the family's genetics. I was pretty sure i was not the only one in this family born with this condition but they all just swept it under the rug for all the previous generations for sure.

They will not be doing that with me! I was sick and tired of having to live a lie and not be my true self because of some outdated traditions. Rules that applied during our great grandparents' times were not applicable any more. Times have changed. People change as well. My parents were just making a big deal out of nothing. It was hurting to see that they cared more about their so called "public image" than the feelings of their own child. At this point  i was even starting to doubt my own parents. Maybe they were not my parents and i was adopted. They just happened to get the shorter end of the stick. I felt Zama snuggling more to my side making me snap out of my thoughts.

I could not possibly break her heart. It would break me as well. I would not even be able to live with myself if i let her go. At the same time i did not want her to be hurt. I wanted her to be happy and live her life without any disturbances. She would not have to live her life looking over her shoulder every five minutes. We were only a year away from officially graduating and i wanted the last year of her University experience to be magical. Full of happiness and laughter, not sadness and worry. All caused by me. I would be lying to myself if i were to say letting her go would be the hardest decision of my life but i would do it in a heartbeat for my baby's safety. I loved her with my entire being. I literally could feel my insides warm up when i look at her. She made me the happiest lady in the world and i wanted her to be always happy as well.

"Stop thinking so much."

Her beautiful eyes were already on me when i turned to look at her again.

"I can't not think about it baby. I have to decide and give them the answer by the end of next week. Plus we have finals as well. This is just too much. I do not even want the girl they have chosen for m-"

"You saw the person they chose for you?"

I nodded.

"So you will choose your kingdom eventually..."

"Babe, i am not leaving you. I will not choose the kingdom over you but they need a ruler. I need to fill my parents' shoes when they step down eventually. I want to do it with you by my side. I do not want that harlot they are trying to push onto me."

"Why did you say she is a harlot?"

"That is how the village people refer to her as. And i also knew her from high school so you know... Fuck's sake why did this have to happen now!"

"What was your original plan? Stay hidden forever here or did you have something else planned?"

"Honestly i just wanted to finish this degree, find a job and lay low right here. I was never going to go back home. I just wanted to live a normal life. For once, just be normal and maybe establish a family or something. Spend the rest of my life living it however i wanted to live it without rules or my parents dictating every single move i make."

"I am so sorry my love. Isn't there a loophole somewhere in your rule book that can help you at least stall your parents' interference in the decision you will make? They cannot just be forcing you to make decisions willy nilly. You're almost 21 for heaven's sake!"