Mandalore's Hope

Chapter 3: Love Can Be Blessing & A Curse

*Padme's POV*

"My room" has a king sized bed with blue sheets and a green duvet in the middle of the opposite wall from the door.  In front of the wall that is opposite to the bed is a chestnut wood dresser with green vines painted on it.  Next to the wall with the dresser on the right is a blue vanity with a mirror and room for writing letters.  Next to the door is a keypad in place in case if anyone needed to call anybody. After we settle in, Anakin sends Ashoka to meditate in the gardens while he "discusses security issues" with me.  I decide that I should change into a different outfit than my black dress I wore for the funeral.  I go with my purple dress from Naboo that has the silver headpiece tied in my hair. The top is blue that changes to purple and shows my stomach.  The skirt is purple except for a silver piece in the middle.  Ani always liked this outfit best out of my Naboo collection. This is also the best choice because of how hot it is at the moment, I was sweating under that heavy black dress. After changing, I walk over to the bed and take a seat as Anakin comes bustling in.

"Ani, what's wrong" I ask as he starts to pace back and forth in front of me in a anxious motion.

"Padme, we have to leave Mandalore now.  There will be unrest with the people with the death of the last queen. It will not be safe for you here anymore." He pleas once he stops his pacing. 

"Anakin, we cannot just leave Hope high and dry with the death of her mother. It would be as if I left you when you're's di-." This is when Anakin explodes and I can't figure out why.

"Do not bring my mother into this." He warns as I get up from the bed and brush his arm lightly. He doesn't say anything so I continue what is supposed to be comforting.

"Ani, what's wrong?" I ask as he turns away from my eyes but I fallow him.  He then finally looks down at me.

"Nothing."

"Anakin Skywalker, do not lie to me. I know when something is bothering you." I say as I point my index finger aggressively.

"No, you don't. You requested me for this mission, but you had to have known that this would bring up feelings about my mother." Anakin warns as I reach out to hug him but he pulls out of my reach.

"Ani, I didn't mean to cause you pain.  I just thought maybe your happy demeanor would cheer Hope up. She likes you so much and you always make her laugh." I explain but it only makes him more upset.

"BEFORE YOU REQUESTED FOR ME DID IT OCCUR TO YOU HOW I WOULD FEEL? DID YOU EVER STOP AND THINK THAT I WOULD WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER FUNERAL? DID YOU EVEN WANT ME HERE WITH YOU? I GUESS NOT CAUSE YOU ALWAYS PUT YOUR DUTY BEFORE US!" Anakin rages as he heads towards the door and down the hall towards the gardens.  I can't believe that Ani thinks I don't care about his feelings. I put my face in my hands as tears slide down my cheeks for a few moments.  A knock suddenly sounds at the door.

"E-enter." I clear my voice from my tears and try again. "Enter." My voice sounds more natural the second time I try. Hope then walks in my chambers and sits next to me.

"Padme are you doing o-." I suddenly decide to wipe my eyes in a fast motion then sit up straighter than I sat a minute ago.

"Hope, what can I do for you my dear." I ask in a sort of defensive voice but then changes it back to my motherly tone.  Hope stares at me in question and I then sigh as a show of defeat.

"I apologize, Hope. General Skywalker and I....we have...um..." I have some trouble searching for the right words.

"You are married."

"How...why...how could you possibly know that?" I ask in complete disbelief that someone found out my biggest secret.

"Well, I had a very unpleasant discussion with my father ten minutes ago then I came up to talk to you about what I should do and then I overheard your argument on accident.  I am so sorry, I did not mean to intrude on your private life. Mother always said that a lady's private life is her most prized possession besides her freedom." She apologizes anxiously as I try not to snicker at her freak out.

"Oh sweetie, it is okay. Anakin and I should have went somewhere a little more private to have that discussion.  It is nice that someone knows because keeping this secret is very exhausting. I mean we have Ashoka, well sort of, we think she knows." I smile at her sadly as I take her hand comfortingly.

"It is hard to imagine that you both are in love but would speak so harshly towards one another." Hope explains with a confused expression on her face. I laugh lightly at her comment as I cross the room to the vanity which holds all of my cosmetics.

"Ah Hope, that is the trick with marriage. Everyone thinks that it is blissful thing that has no problems.  That is the lie because everyone has disagreements in all relationships.  Anakin and I are a little different because our marriage has been strained because of us living in secret.  Our whole lives have been a lie for the past two years. Honestly, I am surprised we have lasted this long." I explain as I wipe my eyes free of tears and smeared mascara with a cosmetic cloth. 

"Why does your marriage have to be a secret?"

"Anakin is a Jedi and I am a Senator. The Jedi Code states that Jedi cannot possess things such as passion, attachments, or even love. It is a contradiction because the Jedi are encouraged to love everyone unconditional love.  I warned Anakin of the risks of us getting married but he was in love with me the moment he saw me. I didn't fall for him until we were about to die before the Battle on Geonosis.  Then we got married a few days after that battle.  Sometimes I wonder what would of happened if we waited a few years, maybe it would have been different." I explain as more tears begin to run down my face.

"If he loves you so much, then why is so upset with you?" She asks as she squeezes my hand comfortingly as tears fall off my cheeks.

"There are many honorable qualities to him.  He is brave, kind, loyal, strong, smart, agile, and loving. These qualities make him a wonderful General to his solders, mentor to Ashoka, perfect husband to me and probably a great father if we were lucky enough. However, he can be very impatient, angry, and obsessive.  Those qualities make him very immature even though he is twenty-one and I am twenty-five. He is just so obsessed with my safety and losing me that he obsesses over that instead of his fear of losing me." I say as I look out the window to where Anakin is pacing in the garden. I put my  hand on the window with tear filled regretful eyes.

*Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't written in a while, college has been crazy with finals.  Also sorry if I got the timeline wrong with Padme and Anakin's marriage. I googled how long they were married up to the point of Duchess Satine's death in the "Clone Wars" TV Show but no results came up. Anyway I tried, hope ya'll  have enjoyed the story thus far. 

~  readerwritergirl