My Sieva,
Silently wishing that you and I would end up together.
In the midst of these uncertainties, I will hold your hand and never let go, because I want us to stay like this forever.
Everlasting love is all I can offer, please do accept me as your lover.
Vast feeling, I don’t want to hide this thing.
A love so pure is long-lasting.
— Lux
**
JUST HANGING OUT, Sieva. Uuwi rin maya-maya.
She hits the send button as she took another sip of her double chocolaty chip crème frappuccino. She’s sitting in a cafe, taking a rest while listening to her favorite playlist made by her wife. She decided to stop over after having a long day at work.
The cafe is owned by another community server she had joined a year ago. It is not just a simple cafe, but a music cafe wherein a member has an opportunity to share music they like, or playlist that they have created that they think other members would enjoy.
Each table has built-in audio and touchscreen devices where each member can add the link or song they want to listen to. It also has multiple audio jack plugs to connect to for those members who are using non-wireless earphones.
Tambay well sa inyo.
Awtomatikong napakunot ang noo niya sa natanggap na reply. Hindi pa naman niya nababanggit na may kasama siya sa kaniyang table. She looks up from her phone to gaze around and it didn’t take her long to spot Lux.
Sumilay ang ngiti sa kaniyang mga labi. Nandito rin pala ito. She missed her. There wasn’t really a single moment in a day that she didn’t find herself missing her.
Gusto tuloy niyang lumipat na ng table para samahan ito pero nahihiya naman siyang iwan si Beau. They’re not actually friends. They barely even talk. Magkakilala lang sila ng huli dahil isa rin itong member sa naturang community server na iyon.
Noong nakaraang araw kasi ay sa table naman siya nito nakiupo because all the tables were already occupied. Hindi rin naman ito lumipat ng table kahit na nga ba nagsidatingan na ang mga kaibigan nito. Letting out a sigh, she turned her attention back to her phone.
Magkahiwalay tayo ng table. You okay there?
She shifted her gaze back to Lux right after sending her reply. Ilang sandali pa’y nakatanggap din siya ng reply mula rito.
I’m fine.
She bit her lower lip and also replies,
Ayaw mo bang sumama sa amin?
Kagat pa rin ang pang-ibabang labing hinintay niya ang reply nito.
I’m fine being alone here.
Lux’s response suddenly saddened her. Gusto niya itong kasama pero mukhang wala ito sa mood. Nalulungkot man she replies,
Sige po. Kinig well, Sieva.
She was about to place her phone on the table and just enjoy her chocolate drink and the song they’re currently listening to when she received a response again from Lux.
I’m Is, not Lux.
At that precise moment, she felt a pang in her chest. The song is still playing, yet she couldn’t seem to hear it. Para siyang nabingi. Even the sweet chocolate drink she was drinking seemed to have lost its taste.
Ilang minuto rin ata siyang napatitig lang sa reply nito bago pasimpleng tumingala. She felt like her tears were going to fall any second. Ang sakit-sakit ng puso niya.
Nakalimutan niyang member nga rin pala ito sa guild na kinabibilangan nilang iyon ni Beau kaya ito naroon pero hindi Lux ang pagpapakilala nito kundi Is.
No one knows she’s her wife maliban sa best friend nitong si Selene at sa dalawa naman niyang kaibigan na si Noble at Haine na members rin ng naturang community server. She took a deep breath and pulled herself together before she replies,
I can’t be with you because you’re Is, not Lux?
Parang may bikig sa lalamunang pinindot niya ang send button.
Noted.
Mabilis na dagdag pa niya. Ilang sandali pa’y nag-reply din naman ito agad.
Hindi naman. Sinasabi ko lang.
Saying this to her for what? Pigil ang luhang tumipa siya muli ng reply,
Nah, I know how to adjust. I’ll keep that in mind.
Parang mas maiiyak ata siya sa natanggap na reply mula rito,
Hmm, okay. Sorry.
Thus, without thinking twice she hits the send button with a cold reply,
Nah, mabuti na ‘yong alam ko. Nasabi. Loud and clear. Thank you.
Her phone beeps again. Agad na binasa naman niya ang natanggap na message.
It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. May table ka na. Ibang playlist ang papakinggan ko. Alam ko namang nag-a-adjust ka. Thank you. Ingat-ingat.
Isang ingat din na lamang ang ini-reply niya rito. Nakita pa niya sa notification niya ang pag-reply nito ng emoji pero hindi na siya nag-abala pang replyan ito. She stood up and left the cafe without even bothering to say goodbye to Beau.
Gusto na muna niyang mapag-isa, so she decided to go to another cafe. She was deeply hurt. She doesn’t even understand Lux’s sudden changed of mood.
One minute they’re okay, the next minute they’re not. She drove her car aside, trying to get a grip of herself, but she could bear it no more, she buried her face in her hands and burst into tears.
Iyak lang siya nang iyak. She couldn’t remember how long she had been crying when she received a message from Lux.
I’m sorry, Sieva. Instead of apologizing for the way I behaved, ganito pa. Pwede ko namang sabihing, thank you for worrying if I’m okay. Gusto ko munang mapag-isa. Okay man ako o hindi, hindi dapat ‘yon rason para saktan kita. I’m sorry.
She sniffed. Nanlalabo man ang mga mata niya sa pag-iyak she still chose to reply,
Nah, I’m sorry. Tama ka namang may table na ako. That’s why I asked you kung okay ka lang bang mag-isa tapos may ibang kasama ako. Ayaw ko namang iba ang isipin mo kaya tinanong kita kung gusto mo bang sumama sa amin without thinking that you’re Is, not Lux. My fault. Hindi ko naisip ‘yon. Nag-alala lang ako sa iisipin mo. That won’t happen again. I’m sorry.
Nagtipa ulit siya nang reply, matapos niyang basahin ulit ang message nito.
Hindi dapat ‘yon rason para saktan kita.
Ulit niya sa message nito.
Why? Was it intentional?
Nang walang matanggap na reply, she sent an another message,
Don’t worry, I’ll pretend that I don’t know you. This is also the last time that I will talk to you as Is. Good night. Take care.
BINABASA MO ANG
'Til Vi Møtes Igjen
Short Story"I don't want to end what we have, but I am also the reason why it has to end. Mahal kita." - Lux.
