Bound For Eternity

7

We got as much information out of the Strigoi before I staked him. I called Baba and he came over with some of the dust stuff that the Alchemists use to take care of them. The local Alchemists were Sydney's parents, and I wasn't going to be held responsible for killing Lilian.

Now Dimitri and I were just left to clean up the living room. Dimitri kept glancing at me as we cleaned up the broken glass from the coffee table before he cleared his throat.

"How are you doing?"

I furrowed my brows and sucked on my finger when I nicked it on a piece of glass.

"I'm fine?"

"I mean about Sydney. I know that this is touchy for you," Dimitri sympathized, "You may not have been open outwardly, but I remember what you felt."

I sighed and sat on my but, resting my elbow on my knees. "I'm sad and I feel for her. I can't imagine how hard this is, but I have an idea. It just makes me think about what we lost," I said quietly, "Maybe it had to do with the endo? I don't know."

Dimitri set the broken pieces in his hands in the trash and sat across from me.

"It might have been. I'm sorry."

I swallowed and waved my hand at him. "It's fine. But we need to be there for them."

Dimitri nodded and rested his hand on my knee, squeezing it and gave me a smile.

"We will Roza, I promise we will. But it's getting late. Get ready for bed and I'll take care of the rest of this. We can go to the hub in the morning with our information."

I nodded and stood up, going into the bathroom to clean my finger and wash my face. I stared at myself in the mirror for a few moments, reflecting on my own pain from years ago. My third year, shortly after Dimitri proposed, I found out I was pregnant. While there was the momentary panic that I was still in school and only twenty-one, I was happy and so was Dimitri. But I miscarried only a few weeks later.

I wasn't as far along as Sydney, but it didn't mean I didn't feel the loss. I didn't have the opportunity to bond the way Sydney did, but it still hurt.

I licked my lips and took off my wedding rings and scrubbed my hands in the sink, the smell of the hospital still lingering on my skin. I jumped in the shower quickly and washed my hair before getting out, wrapping it up in a silk cap and heading to our room. I got dressed for bed and sat on the bed waiting for Dimitri. He came in shortly after and looked at me sympathetically and got dressed for bed.

He didn't always stay through the night, most times he'd stay until I was asleep and go grade papers or work out, but would come back in before I woke up so that I woke up to him. It was something I had gotten used to and missed when I was in university.

He climbed into bed beside me and pulled me into his embrace, holding me while taking some of my anxiety through the bond.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry that you lost your cousin," I said quietly. Dimitri took a slow breath and nodded, squeezing me tighter.

_______________________

I was exhausted the next morning. I slept restlessly and every dream turned into a nightmare. Dimitri soothed me each time I woke, but it wasn't enough. We had a name for yet another who tried to hurt us, and I was tired of feeling like a target.

Emily could tell something was wrong when we arrived but waited until the meeting started. As everyone filed into the conference room, Emily pulled me aside.