Step of Faith

Chapter XXVII: On my best behavior

Chapter XXVII: On my best behavior

Theo

"Have I done something? Or is your intent to stare me to death, Coach?" I raise a brow at him. He's been staring at me the whole bus ride. Like intensely staring.

He doesn't answer and just keeps staring, I scoff and turn to ask the other guys only to find a bunch of them asleep or engrossed in their phones.

"What's wrong?"

"What's between you and my assistant coach?" he squints his eyes. He's been staring daggers at me because of that?

"Me and Blair?" I look down at the curly head laid out on my lap. No drool yet but I give it ten minutes.

"Yes, you and her? Is it something I should be concerned about?"

I know what he's implying. He's asking if this is a temporary thing and she'd get hurt and leave. I understand his concern, she is an employee that he desperately needs and if I fuck it up then he'll be on the search again.

Coach Wilson has had a bumpy road with college league coaching. Everyone knows he's capable of more but no one deemed him good enough and now he's told himself that this is the best he can do. Now he's trying to prove that we can win and he made the right choice, he won't be able to do it if he doesn't have a technical coach by his side.

"No, she's a keeper," my lips curl into a grin.

"You hurt her and I will skin you alive, Grayson," he barks out but I can see the relief and satisfaction in his features before he turns around.

I wasn't worried about telling him or hiding my relationship, it just never came up. I trusted him like a dad. Plus, coach was too deeply involved in all of our lives for me to start hiding something now. He was always in the middle of all of our debates about who'd had a better sex experience.

We never bothered in hiding the obvious truth or glazing it over with some idiotic lie. And as he loved to remind us he had been a "youngster" too and he still remembers all of the girls he had pursued. I want to forget that conversation as best as I can.

Besides the fact that our coach, when running on a relaxing tea and Ibuprofen, liked to overshare I was slightly on edge. Scratching Blair's back took my mind off of the following problems. Playing the third game in the past two days and getting zero sleep due to being packed six to a room. And the weight of today's win on my shoulders.

It should be easy. The rival team sucks and I've gone over the plays dozens of times. I re-watched my old game tapes, studying my screw-ups and successes. But despite the immense training I've endured these past weeks I didn't feel as confident as I wanted to.

The only thing circling my mind was the urge to take the performance enhancement pills that neatly sat in the inner pocket of my hockey bag. I haven't touched them in a while and it's not doping. They're pills that help me focus. I used to take them before my finals but I only took them once for a game.

I didn't want to take them, I just felt like I needed to. Though I couldn't risk Blair finding out. I know how she'd look at me with those judgemental eyes of hers. She wouldn't understand, maybe she would but not fully. Not the way I'd need her to understand me.

How do I explain to my girlfriend that she's dating a guy who's struggled with drugs before he even came to college? That's why I don't want to take the enhancement pills because if I do, I might not be able to stop. Let's just say my high school guidance counselor dealt with everything under wraps.

Thanks to my father's great addiction genes he passed on to me I am quite literally incapable of saying no after I've had a feel of the fuzziness from the drugs. But I'm not going to be a shit father. My babies will always be loved and so will Blair.