you can take my Soul, but never my Heart (omegaverse)

Chapter 4: a job to do

Dazai doesn't like white wine.

He drinks it when Yosano brings it back with the rest of his groceries, but she only laughs at him when he makes a face at how simultaneously sweet and acidic it is. But even just a glass of the stuff helps relax him, and he lets her take the rest of the bottle with her before he returns to his nest with Koko, who is no longer swaddled nor sleeping, but is still happily cuddled up with Oda's shirt as she gnaws on the teething ring from the freezer.

The shirt trick only works a few more times over the next few weeks, but the strawberry ice cream Yosano bought is a blessing in disguise. Koko is addicted to it, and the chill helps abate the pain in her mouth as she eagerly suckles on the spoon to quiet herself. Her mouth gives her a break after another month, and now she's got six little teeth that Dazai has to make sure to brush twice a day after his own, yet any attempt to get dada out of her again is in vain.

"Mama," he tries one day, growing bored with the paperwork Haruno had brought him. If he has to stare at the police report of another mystery Ranpo managed to solve in record time for one more second, he might explode. It's much nicer to distract himself with his daughter instead as she giggles and chews on the ear of a stuffed unicorn Yosano bought her for Christmas. "Can you say mama?"

"Amaba," is her very eloquent response.

He chuckles softly. "Close enough."

All things considered, Koko's development is going fantastic. She's still small for her age, will likely always be, even though she's only a couple fragile weeks away from a year old. He isn't too worried about her speech, because she already seems to understand that her name is Koko and what yes and no mean. It's just a matter of having the ability to say those words back to him that she's working on.

She's growing so fast.

It's surreal. He never knew he could make it this long, staying in one spot. He never thought he could love another human as much as he loves Koko. He never thought she would grow into such a strong little girl so quickly. She's already almost a year old, and...

And in three months, his time will be up.

Two years of hiding, all to join the Armed Detective Agency.

Yosano told him that Fukuzawa had looked into it, and apparently the Port Mafia has finally given up on finding him alive. It's a relief for sure, but even moreso to know that Chuuya kept his word. He told no one of the evening they ran into each other, and Dazai admits that he's thankful for that. A sign of mercy from Chuuya is about as rare as catching a shooting star in the palm of your hand.

Three days before Koko's birthday, Dazai is reading a picture book about a lost duckling to her in the quiet of the dorm room, letting the gray of a winter sunset illuminate the glossy pages. Koko giggles whenever he makes silly voices, though by the time he reaches the end of the story, her brown eyes are clouded with sleep and she's sagging backwards against his chest.

"Goodnight, my sweet kokoro."

His phone rings, loud and abrupt against the floor where he dropped it earlier after taking a picture of Koko just seconds before she dropped her bottle of formula onto the tatami.

No one calls.

Yosano and Haruno primarily text him, and he hasn't spoken to Fukuzawa since the last disastrous dinner all those months ago. It's past business hours, so it can't be Haruno, and the last time he talked to Yosano was a text two days ago when she had asked what Koko's new favorite foods were (she was no longer interested in frozen bananas, and even strawberry ice cream had lost its charm; she's all about applesauce now, especially the kind with chunks and cinnamon) so she could get some for her birthday.