C.R.E.W

Chapter 20 ~ Fights and Forgiveness

I ran up to Noelle's house, satchel in hand. I knocked and rang the doorbell while swaying in place, rocking back and forth between my heels and toes. My brown boots and darker brown laces also teetering against the gray concrete doorsteps. Their welcome mat stared me in the face, it was red and had an auburn tinted color with a fancy "Welcome" plastered on it in swirly black letters. Its black outline was bold and thick, I had focused on every out of place, ragged, scratched up detail until her mother opened the bright blue painted door. I sprinted up the stairs kicking off my boots and stumbling on the first few gray carpeted steps. I twirled around on the stairs and burst into Noelle's room as I sat upon her blue and purple color faded bed. I panted out of breath and smiled at her.

"What'd you run a rampage followed by a marathon or what?" She asked, laughing and closing her brown teakwood door with a golden colored knob.

She came over and sat by me on the bed, I laughed a little, "more like eagerness."

Noelle shrugged and raised her eyebrows with her eyes closed. I smiled at her and thought about how lucky I was to have her. She understood my likings, understood my complaining and explanations, my personality. She understood me, and not just the "me" she knows...the real me.

"So, what are we discussing, today?" She asked, rubbing her hands together.

I took a deep breath in and roughly exhaled out, knowing I hated to go straight into my complaining and ruin the mood.

"Well, do you ever feel kind of...off?" I asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows and slightly smiled, "What do you mean by, 'off'?" She asked, putting hand quotations around, "off".

"Like...you're not..." I didn't want to spill everything out at once, but I didn't like to sugarcoat either. "...do you ever feel like something is majorly wrong?"

She pursed her lips, "No, not really."

I looked at her with worried eyes.

"I mean, sometimes." She answered. I could tell she was lying, she feels fine, I was the emotion freak.

I looked down at her bed sheets and bit my chapped lip. I looked up at her, "Well, I do a-and with all these things, I-I never know what's real anymore. It's all fantasies and life threatening situations over and over again, it's like nothing is really there until you feel your life slipping away. Nothing...nothing is there anymore." I ranted.

She listened and had a sympathetic look on her face, she hesitated before putting her hand on top of mine, she was waiting until I finished talking.

Her cold hand was placed directly on mine and we looked at each other.

I exhaled and peered down at her carpeted floor, then forwarded my gaze over to her pale hand, "It's just, everything is..."

"Weird?" She interrupted.

I looked at her, hazel eyes in green, "yeah" I exhaled and looked away.

"...and a few weeks ago, glass shards came spewing out of my locker." I laughed.

"You what?!" She shrieked and stood herself up from the bed.

"I just-" I tried to explain.

She scoffed, "You had glass shards spewing out of your locker?!" she shrieked.

"It w- my mirror just broke." I stated calmly, sitting upright on the blue edge of her ombré bedsheets.

She stuttered, "Prixley! This is much more than just a mirror breaking! How do your mirror's shards spew out of your locker?!" At this point, I could only make out what she was feeling by her tone, her facial expressions were all over the place, her motions were still and almost immobile, she stood there, only arms moving at most.

"Noelle, it wasn't-" She kept interrupting me and I was tired of it.

"Wasn't what, huh? Wasn't a big deal? Are we talking about the same things? I'm talking about the big, nasty, sharp, cutting-edge, ragged, shards. I don't know what you're talking about if we're not talking about the same thing." She flung her arms up and back down to her side to slap her thighs. She stopped and looked at me in both seriousness and confusion, I didn't know which was which.

"They weren't that big." I said, managing to get out one full sentence.

"Yeah, well, with you almost dying every few seconds everything is a big deal." She exhaled the sentence, meaning every single word.

I straightened my face and took a gulp. That was it, we stared at each other for a few seconds and I knew what she meant. My life was falling apart in every way and she was the only one who wanted to admit it to my face. For all we knew, it only took one mention of another life-threatening situation for it to all come out.

She stared at me and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry." She admitted, looking away.

I bit my lip and moved my mouth awkwardly trying to make a smile but all it did was look like a straight face, "It's okay."

She looked away and turned her body in the opposite direction, completely away from me.

"You're right," I blurted out, "I don't know why my life is like this anymore and I'm trying to fix it, but all that ever happens are more and more bad things, back to back to back. I don't know how to solve that, and all I need is for something to go my way. Right now, nothing is, and I'm losing everything. My family thinks I'm crazy and doesn't know how to deal with me anymore and the only person I have...is you. With all this, who knows what is going to happen next. I could even die next. You agreed to help me find out what's going on, I'm just hoping you stay true to the promise." I described. It was more of a lecture and I didn't want it to be.

"I didn't say I wasn't going to help you, I am, and I'm determined to make all of this stop." She explained.

"But...?" I continued for her. I knew there was a follow up.

"...but, how am I supposed to help you when you don't even know what's going on?" She asked, confused.

I tilted my head up and smiled, "that's what we're going to figure out...together."