Flowers

5

Chapter 5, The cleric in the rain: Will

{A/N: This chapter might be slightly triggering to some readers, (Will has a lot of depressed thoughts) Also I'm sorry if the first part of the chapter was written weirdly, I tried to make it as if Will was having a mental breakdown- ILY: Frosty :)}

nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody

Nobody loves you, nobody wants you, nobody thinks you're useful, nobody.

I was riding on my bike, I was so invested I didn't notice it started raining until it was pouring, nobody cares so why should I. I was riding on a bridge and I wondered, nobody would care if I jumped right now. If I just didn't wake up nobody would cry.

I WANT IT TO BE 1983 1983 1983 please god I've never been the same, nobody has ever treated me the same, nobody wants to be kids, nobody seems to notice that the upside down isn't the only thing that hasn't changed since that fateful day. Why would they care, they can move on. I'm selfish I-I I. But in 1983 THEY CARED, they didn't stop, they loved me they loved me they loved me they loved me.

More, darker, worse thoughts rushed through my brain on the bike ride. I must have looked so stupid, I was a boy, dressed as a cleric, riding on a bike, in the rain, crying.

PATHETIC

Was dad right? Am I just a pathetic fag? Do I deserve all of this?

THERE'S A REASON THAT DEMOGORGON TOOK YOU! The reason you still have nightmares, the reason you are stuck you you you you you.

I finally arrived home.

I placed my bike on the porch. I ran inside.

"Will, El?" Mom. "Will sweety it that you?"

She walked in to the room so she could see me

"WILL! ARE YOU OK! HOW ABOUT EL? WHERE IS EL?"

"Probably screwing Mike or having fun with Max or- or"

"Will, are you okay?"

I started sobbing even harder. I broke down in her arms.

We stayed like that for a good twenty minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mom asked

"Y-yeah"

"Ok what happened?"

"W-we went to play D&D, and I had put so much work into this one campaign, but like no one wanted to play"

"I thought that they all loved D&D?!"

"Same"

"Theres more, I can tell"

"Yeah, I guess I, I'm stuck mom, I'm stuck. Like I feel like all of my friends act so old, but I'm just a kid."

"I blame that goddamn upside down and Dr fkn Brenner. Will, it's not fair, your childhood was robbed from you, and there's nothing we can do about it. All I can say is always act yourself, not what others think that you should be."

"Theres a lot that people think I should be"

"I think you should just be Will, and I will love Will no matter what. Even if you were Vecna, I would still love you. You are my boy. When you went missing, I lost my sanity, Jonathan can tell you. I love you and nobody and nothing can ever change that. I think that you need to know that"

I after a moment of silence I hugged her and said

"Yeah, I did"