Journal Entries

Calls

I wish I could call you. Just ring you up and listen to your voice. But that would be weird.
"Hey, so, I'm feeling despondent, but I just want to call you desperately and listen to your voice because it is the only thing that keeps me anchored and stops me from drifting away from my reality or drowning in my sorrows."
But I can't because it's currently that time of night where it's so dark that even the stars don't seem to shine anymore, and you're not here, and you wouldn't answer anyway.
It's not like I'm even close to you. I'm just dying to hear the soothing tranquil melodies of your voice.
But that's not going to happen. You're happy, I'm not. You're with friends and I'm sat here, staring at my increasingly blurry phone screen. you're worth something and I'm so damn pathetic and lonely and not even your disembodied voice will change that.
So I guess I'll just lay here until the pain I feel ebbs away along with the precious fragments of a person who was once worth your time.