State of Love and Distrust

May 1992: After the Party

The ceiling was spinning, and I fell limp after the banshee screech escaped from my throat. When I dared to look down, Stone's face was still resting between my legs. He seemed very pleased with himself. He was rubbing his chin hairs, almost in thought. His lips were shiny and red, along with his flustered, blotchy cheeks. He gave my lower lips a final kiss, his strong nose tickling my skin one last time. He then patted me, smacked my knee playfully, and sat up.

"You have a strong set of lungs. It's a mystery you're not a better swimmer."

As I lay there, spent, Stone scooted next to my relaxed body. He leaned against the headboard, and looked down at me, amused. Evidently, Stone was not a cuddler in that instance. I couldn't find the energy to lift myself out of the depths of the blankets. The day had been a long one, and that sweet release knocked out whatever remaining energy I had.

"What a night," he said, looking at the sky outside the window. "LA is always interesting."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed, my body feeling heavy again.

Stone and I sat in silence for a bit, then I started to drift to sleep. My eyes shut, and the blissful night began to melt away.

LATER

I wasn't sure what time it was, but it was a little past sunrise. The room was bathed in an orange hue and birds were chirping outside.

I heard some harried footsteps in the room and the rustling of metallic paper. My eyes still blurry, I could see that Stone was dressed, once again wearing his black Sissy shirt and cuffed shorts, which were very wrinkled. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his eyes were tired. He was digging out some of the condoms that Demri had gifted us, and was placing them in his pocket.

When he was done, squinting in a sleepy haze, Stone attempted to pull his hair up but remembered he didn't have a scrunchie. He groaned.

All of a sudden, there was a gentle knock on the door. Stone hurriedly opened it. From what I could see, in the doorway was Jeff—who appeared to have had his own fun the night before. There were smears of plum lipstick on his lips, and his cheeks, and there was a purple and red splotch on the side of his neck. His knit hat was tilted in the opposite direction from earlier, and he unknowingly was wearing his tank top backward.

Stone snorted, attempting to hold back a laugh. Jeff quickly shushed him and said in a low whisper, "Hey, are you ready to split? We gotta get back to the hotel to check out."

"I was already up. We gotta move fast. We all look like shit, especially you." Witty, even half asleep, Stone continued. "That lipstick color suits you."

Jeff immediately started to wipe his face with the back of his hand.

"Gotta put my shoes on," said Stone, turning away from Jeff and walking toward the foot of the bed. Jeff peered in, and upon the realization I was still in the room, Jeff quickly turned away, and disappeared from the doorway.

The bed shifted as Stone sat down to put his boots back on. Sensing my alertness, Stone tussled my hair. I looked back at Stone, who had turned to face me with his drowsy eyes.

"It was a nice night with you Fern. I enjoyed kickin' it."

He gave a deep sigh. "We're gonna tour a bit more stateside, then it's off to Europe in two weeks."

"Oh yeah... Cool. Great! I'm sure it's fun. I've never been there."

"Hey before I head out, let me say something..."

I sat up a little bit. I wondered how I looked at that moment.

"I kinda told ya already, but you're very beautiful. You're smart, pretty funny. I mean, I don't know you really well, but I can tell you have a good heart. It's worth sharing. With all those things, you can go pretty far in life."