Songbird

'Cause I Feel That When I'm With You, It's Alright

The Lobster
Santa Monica Pier
Santa Monica, California
Saturday, December 9, 2022
(7:00 pm)
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"I'm really loving the new hair, by the way."

Lindsey was sitting across the table from Stevie and tried not to seem as enthusiastic as he was about being so close to her again. They had agreed to meet at the Santa Monica Pier at four o'clock that afternoon and they had, and when he'd seen her standing on the pier, her long golden curls shining in the late afternoon sun, he'd felt his heart doing flip flops immediately and he hoped she'd agree to his invitation to join him for dinner after they'd walked along the pier and then the shore, iced coffees in hand and sharing memories of Christine through laughter and some tears. It had been after six when he'd suggested The Lobster, both of them agreeing they were hungry and cold.

"I would've suggested it earlier but I wasn't sure you'd agree," he'd said.

Stevie smiled and said, "Just an invitation would've been just fine."

He'd burst into laughter, falling in love with her all over again as their bare feet sank into the wet sand.

Stevie touched her hair self-consciously at the table in the dim light of the dining room. "Really? I wanted to try something new on tour after Covid."

"I mean it, Stevie," he said. And in a lower tone, leaning in over the table. "It's beautiful. You are beautiful."

Stevie lowered her gaze to the half-eaten lobster tail on her plate, suddenly bashful. "Lindsey...I'm seventy-four years old."

"So? I'm seventy-three...what's your point? You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"You're making me uncomfortable, Linds." She shifted nervously in her seat on her side of the booth.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that...really, Stevie, I'm sorry...let's talk about something else."

"Okay." She smoothed the napkin in her lap, sitting more upright and at attention. "What'll we talk about?" After all of the talking they'd done all week on the phone - and for the last three hours together in person - they were suddenly in the middle of an awkward silence.

"How was the tour?" Lindsey asked, watching her try to gather herself and stop thinking about him having called her beautiful. "I saw some of your set at the Hollywood Bowl on YouTube recently...I noticed the date on the videos."

"I know...I knew it that night." Stevie's concert at the Hollywood Bowl had been on Lindsey's birthday. "Actually...I've got another secret for you..." She leaned in over the table. "I almost used your birthday as an excuse to dedicate 'Landslide' to you."

"The audience would have had a field day with that, I'm sure," said Lindsey. "The internet, too." Stevie nodded. "Who got the dedication that night?"

"The audience," she said. "It's my default when I can't say what's on my mind."

"I was on your mind, huh?" Lindsey looked at her with a silly grin, and she couldn't help but giggle.

"It was your birthday, and you were off in Scotland at your own show." She exhaled loudly. "I was thinking about you, wondering how your birthday concert was going, how you were celebrating."

"Stevie..." Lindsey leaned in further across the table. "I haven't been a hundred percent honest about something...it's not that I've been lying...but there's something I haven't said. It didn't seem right, you know...I mean, with Christine and all..." He looked down at his plate and then back up at Stevie, who was leaning in expectantly. "Stevie...that Scotland show was canceled...the whole European tour was canceled, actually...I've had some health problems."

Stevie's lips curled into a gentle, affectionate smile. He watched her eyes narrow as her hand covered his over the table. "I know," she said. "I don't go online but Karen does...she told me. Please be honest with me, Lindsey...is it your heart?" She watched him nod. "Bad?"

"Yes and no," he admitted. "The heart attack I had in 2019 did some damage, and then when I got Covid last year I got hit pretty hard...age, I guess...and that's when my cardiologist found the damage. I had to cancel Europe and actually most of my U.S. engagements as well...precautionary measures, they all told me. Tony was all pissed off and I called Ray and told him to issue a statement on my social media...so I was just sitting around on my ass at home - doctor's orders - when John called me that day to tell me about Chris."

Stevie was proud of herself for saving her tears for this moment. They were just starting to well up in her eyes as she said, "Linds, level with me...am I going to lose you too the way I lost Christine?"

"No, Stevie, I promise you...it's not like that." He looked down at their hands on the table, and how without realizing it, they had been stroking each other's fingers the whole time. He finally took her hand in his and squeezed. "But I do have one more confession before we leave the topic behind."

"Confess away," she said, her voice small and slightly frightened.

"The day I got word from the doctor...when I told me about my heart and told me to take it easy and all...I drove home and 'Go Your Own Way' came on the radio...and I prayed out loud in the car." He looked into her eyes across the table, and she could see he had tears in his eyes as well. "I prayed for the chance to see you one last time so I could make things right, apologize for every time I've ever made you feel anything less than perfect and beautiful and safe and wanted and loved, Stephanie. And then Chris died and I knew we'd see each other in England and...God help me...I was happy. I didn't think it was humanly possible to miss a person so much...I mean, I felt like a guy with one leg." His thumb had begun to stroke the knuckles of her tiny hand in his. "I'm sorry, angel. I'm sorry from 1968 to this moment, and I'm not asking for you to magically forgive me, but just know that if you ever sat alone somewhere thinking I didn't love you anymore...you were wrong. I know I screwed it up, but Stephanie Lynn Nicks, I will love you till the day I die."

Stevie felt her tears betray her, spilling over onto her cheeks. Their hands were clasped together tight now, their fingers entwined like perfect pieces of a puzzle, and they both looked down at their hands in wonder at how some things never changed. "Linds?"

"Yeah?" He swallowed hard.

Stevie was smiling through her tears. "Take me home?"

Lindsey immediately flagged the waiter down to ask for the check.

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