Even the weather feels the same way as you. For the first time in weeks, you got up and tried being productive, at least going out of the house and go for a walk. But it seemed as if the climate had other plans.
Now, you're stuck at home, again, having nothing to do, other than being miserable and sleeping your way to death. Not even social media has had any news or anything interesting, making it 10 times worse. Usually, you would've never even been caught saying social media was boring but here you were.
Thinking about it now, you don't even remember what you had for diner yesterday or the day before. It's very alarming but you really couldn't care less. You don't even realize you've been staring dead at a wall for the past 10 minutes, expressionless.
It's so awfully quiet, to the point you can even hear a constant ringing in your ears. You left the place as it was even after he left. It's honestly surprising you haven't destroyed the house with the amount of rage and sadness you bottle inside of you.
Now that you think about it, going out in the rain doesn't sound too bad anymore. Your cheeks have been soaked with tears, clothes won't be too bad. A little bit of rain won't hurt anybody.
Your eyes wander to the droplets of water falling one after another, through the window. As depressing, as it may seem, the raindrops found their way so deep into your soul, they made you feel emotions. Almost like, grief..? Anxiety, heartbroken.. You name it.
They hypnotize you. They make you think about life, how perfect everything was with him. The 'what if's' or the 'could've's'. The droplet made you realize so many things. All of that just by staring at one. One running down the window, slowly making its way down, colliding with the other ones.
But really, what you really did realize, is that you needed to get going before it was too dark.
An umbrella, a dark coat, a mask, sunglasses, a hat, you could be mistaken as a famous hen. Not that you minded. But what did bother you was the store sign growing bigger, painfully slow. Every step felt like an eternity but you needed to get groceries or you would die of starvation rather than depression. Even so, it still was a pain in the ass.
The fresh air hits your skin, finally escaping the humidity of the rain. You could stay here forever if you had the choice, it was something you would consider once in a while. lol. Honestly, you have no idea what to even buy, there's tons of options, clearly, but it's like your stomach and your brain just evaporated from your body.
You purposely "slothed" your way in the aisles, taking your sweet time, not wanting to leave to go back your dreary, depressed, almost moldy looking house. People are giving you weird looks, basically telling you they've never seen a loner before. It's surprising, the amount of people grocery shopping, today. To your left, you see an old woman, stretching out her arm as far as possible to get this one cereal. Her toes are at the edge and her eyes are squinted. She was shaking, her hand was shaking so hard and she would not give up.
By the look of her cart, she wasn't buying those for herself, she was most likely getting them for her grandchildren. 'Pretty sure those kids are screaming and running around the house, not even knowing that their grandmother is giving all she can to make them happy and feed them.
The saddest thing is you can't even do that for yourself. You can't even find the strength to even feed yourself, to give yourself the basic needs. While over there someone is almost sacrificing their arm to make their loved ones happy.
